A
female
age
36-40,
*assySashy
writes:The other day me and my boyfriend were talking on the phone and he asked me a question that led to me talking about some pretty emotional things, like abandonment issues, my worries and fears. The next night he told me he had been thinking about it all night and day, then proceeded go on this huge tangent about how confused he was. It seems like every time i bring up something serious about my feelings he gets all freaked out and i have to do damage control to talk him down. I'm not sure if this is a normal reaction that some men just don't know how to handle emotional issues or if he's doing this in a way to keep me from bringing up things of emotional nature in the future. Plz some Advice.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SassySashy +, writes (30 July 2007):
SassySashy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI found out the reason why he was so freaked out on the phone he told me he felt guilty because he gave some girl from work a ride on his bike. He said it didn't mean more than a ride on the bike cuz she had never been on one.The ext day she texted him and he got really freaked out becuz he realized to him it was a simple bike ride but to her it might mean more. He told me right away and said he would never do it again and he was very sorry. I believe him, if something does happen there's nothing that i can do to keep it from happening. I would talk to him in person but he's in the military so the phone is the only option right now:). I have abandonment issues and i think it's causing me to question things and react in an overly jealous way, i recognize this and i want to make a change because i do love him and we are happy. I have to get over my fear of being hurt, it's a part of life i guess. Err who knew long term relationships took so much work lol.
A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (28 July 2007):
 My dear Sassy, not all men have issues with handling emotional problems. However your worries are pretty substantial but no need to start pressing panic buttons. The need for some worry is understandable though you should be looking on the bright side of everything which includes your relationship with this guy. It sounds to me that this gentleman is a nice dude but living with some insecurities u still dont know about. That leads me to your first assignment. Honey its your duty to get as much close to your boyfriend's heart as possible. You talking on the phone is smth not even more than kidish play. So try as much as possible to meet him frequently and make him feel very comfortable around you. This will with time help him open up to you and thats when you will be amazed about what he is afraid to tell you about. Being the smart lady you are,soften his heart with the simple things around that you can think of and both of you will begin to speak about your inner feelings for each other in the same breath.. Goodluck Angel
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