A
female
age
41-50,
*hichayganda27
writes:hi...i have a question,..i have a live in partner for 8 yrs,and were happy and inlove,,but this past 2 months till now something change,he talk to me and tell me that he's flirting with other girls and the worst thing is " the other girls are my co worker and some of them are my friends " then he ask me to understand him because he's a guy.he told me that he was only flirting,and im still the one in his heart,worst thing is everytime his with other girls i know it,thats why i always cried before i sleep.then he ask me to introduce him as my close friend.i dont know what i feel that time because i was shock and hurt,then i said ok eventhough i was deeply hurt but i have no choice because i love him..pls tell me what to do?do i have to leave him or just stay with him?in my mind says leave him but my heart says no,because his father now is in the hospital,,pls wht should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): I agree with samsmommy, flirting is pretty innocent, everyone flirts, but once he starts calling you a "close friend" instead of his girlfriend.. that's not right. Honestly though, he isn't a mind reader, he doesn't know it hurts you that much especially if you tell him it's okay, but behind his back you cry. You should really be honest with him, if it hurts you a lot, tell him that. Tell him it upsets you and tell him everything you feel. If he really does love you he will listen and understand and you guys could talk about possible ways to fix the problem. Hope everything goes well!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): Dear Poster
I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but unfortunately there is no way you can continue with this relationship on this basis without hurting yourself more and more. You are allowing him to humiliate you and to destroy your self esteem. If he loves you and values and respect you and your feelings; he will not do this to you.
I suggest you talk to this guy and tell him how you feel. Explain to him how much it is hurting you; how it is humiliating you; If he does not stop his behavior at once and make a concerted effort to make amends, leave him. Don't fool yourself by hanging around because of his circumstances; you need to think about yourself; your feelings and your dignity.
I know it is not easy and you have been together for a long time, but do not allow him the power to control and hurt you like this. Talk to him and then if need be move forward. You deserve love and respect. A relationship without that is not worth hanging on to.
Best wishes and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, samsmommy  +, writes (20 November 2008):
 Flirting with girls is one thing, asking you to introduce him as your 'good friend'. No. No. No. Somethings going on there. You need to talk to him about it and tell him you're NOT going to introduce yourself as his friend, because you're not just his friend, you're his GIRLfriend.
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