A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Myself and someone I work with fell in love with each other about 5/6 months ago... we both told each other and things progressed in to a "love affair". There was one problem though. I had a boyfriend, who I ended with because I had no feelings for him and he has a fiance and two children. He told me that he is unhappy at home and that the only reason he is there is because of his children. I said that I didn't want too much to happen until he left home because it wasn't fair on his fiance. He did leave once, but he wasn't strong enough to stay away so he went back. We carried on talking all of the time and meeting up at and after work for a cuddle and a kiss but now it has all stopped and he is attempting to sort out his relationship with his fiance, for the sake of his children. I am still in love with him and he tells me that he thinks about me all of the time and that he still loves me. I started to move on but then all of my feelings came flooding back and now I don't know what to do. I know he isn't happy at home and all he keeps doing is arguing with his fiance. Do you think it will last?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Thank you for your advice. i think deep down i already know that i need to move on, and already began to... i just had a set back that brought all of my feelings back for him. plus it is difficult having to work with him. it just hurts to think he strung me along and then just dropped me when it got serious!
A
male
reader, AgonyUncleDan +, writes (18 February 2009):
 Hi There,
These men are never bad, they are just greedy, they want a little but of this, a little bit of that and so forth. If he isn't happy he can't use you as some sought of comfort cushion everytime something seems to go wrong with his fiance. You need to move on with your life and he needs to understand that also. You also said there is no feelings for him thats why you let go of him. You just need to move forward and stop letting this man hold you back!
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A
female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 Yes, I do think it will last. For one he's obviously willing to work out regardless of you and his feelings for each other. Its sad and probably not what you want to hear, but it's reality.
If they seperated and you and him didn't connect and become a couple during that time then I'm sorry he wants to be with his fiance. He's just using the kids as an excuse to not pursue a official relationship with you.
Your young and you WILL find someone else to love you and only you. Plus look at it like this don't you want to have a kid one day? He already has two, so I'm pretty sure he's not very anxious to make a third. Just enjoy what you and him have/had and try to move on the best you can.
Maybe you might want to mention to him that your feelings are involved (evidently) and you would rather him not keep leading you on with voicing his problems with/about his fiance which in turn indirectly gives you a false hope that maybe they will split.
Best Hopes Girl
PS-take it from some one who has experience with this sort of thing. yes i'm currently with a man who was with his gf for 10yrs (not married or engaged) but the thing is you never know when the may get back together. this will always ponder your mind with anyone who is emotionally attached to someone other than you. No, they don't have any children together.
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