A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for 3 years, have a 21 month old and had been having an affair for 3 months. He has ended it because he can't bear the thought of me with someone else, we had fallen in love.I just don't know what to do now, how to act, where to go. I have no one to turn to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): What should you do know? Leave him so he can harvest what he planted. It's that simple. Do not accept anything less than what you deserve. I learned that falling in love is complicated and when someone disrespects you by cheating...well.. that's not love. how can you love someone who hurt you so bad? He doesn't love you enough to be faithful to you. Period. He isn't worth your time. My best advice is to move on. You will find someone who does cherish you in everyway. It just takes time...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): I don't agree with cloverwildgust at all. If you are unhappy and don't think your relationship will work then leave because there's nothing worse than a child growing up in a miserable environment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): If you have to cheat you are obviously missing something from your relationship. Don't cheat its painful to the other party. Just end it once and for all with your man or end the affair and concentrate on redeeming yourself and making the relationship better and that all starts with communication.
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A
female
reader, Clover.Wildgust +, writes (13 November 2010):
Life isnt always easy I know. And think if you werent in a relationship who would you go with but can you handle a divorce or a child growing up with one parent. When you were young would it have been easy getting tought to walk and talk with a missing peice? It will be hard but you need to think of the kid. This affair if it was better than raising a child then go with your affair man, but if you would rather your child having a proper childhood then stay with your husband.
Clover. Wildgust
Good Luck
XXX
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A
female
reader, Merilee  +, writes (13 November 2010):
I agree with the previous poster. All I could think about when reading your story was how would I feel being the other person. How long would I have to spend waiting for you while you had your cake and ate it too ? When do I become more than just a toy to take you away from your real life and responsibilities.
Affairs are such a hateful and selfish thing, for everyone involved. The father of your child, you, your fling, and your child. Now all you have to do is be a grown up and make a decision.
If you want your lover back, I would ask them straight out why they broke it off, and if its because you werent willing to commit, you know what you have to do.
My question though is more, why did you start it ? What were you missing from your current relationship that you felt the need to go looking elsewhere ... because if it - whatever it is - is still missing, you may end up in this situation again.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 November 2010):
Somehow I suspect that you read more into how he felt that he did.
Realistically, this started as an affair and was never anything else. You're in a committed relationship with a child. That should have been something you took into account.
My suspicion is that this guy you were having an affair with realized he was getting into a mess. You weren't out of a relationship, so maybe he felt it was going nowhere. You can't expect someone to wait around, and he was waiting around. The other thing is that maybe he felt guilt for the fact he was assisting in messing up a relationship that has a young child in it. Or, of course, he was using you and felt you were getting too close.
Whatever the reason, this affair was wrong and it's good that it ended. The time has come for you to come back to the relationship and decide what to do. You are in a relationship with a child, and that should mean something. There's a lot you've not told us, I'm sure. But you should know that you need to take responsibility for the child you've brought into the world and make a decision. Either you are in the relationship, and you're making it work. Or you're out, and you pack your bags, leave and hope for the best.
The dream affair is over now. This is real life again, with a real baby who needs a stable home. You're either committed to this man, or you're out. Decide.
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