A
female
age
36-40,
*Sarax
writes:Hi again, If you're not already posted in on what my ex boyfriend is like then read my other questions if you can.Thankfully I have moved on from my ex. Who I could only describe with a word I can't use on here. He's in a relationship now with the girl he dumped me for. But somehow, he's still able to get to me. A couple of weeks ago it got that bad that I hit the girl he is seeing. (I'm not a violent person and I don't agree with violence.) But it got that bad that I couldn't stop myself. He knows exactly which buttons to press. For example: Going on msn and emailing nasty comments about me. Or talking to me online saying that I was rubbish in bed and that he's with his girlfriend now. (who's an absolute cow.) Also that he never loved me he just lied and used me.I suppose I should just laugh at these pathetic comments but they are just getting to me. I'm being made out to look like a fool and I hate it. It hurts because once we were in love he just says nasty things when he's with his new girlfriend. I'm not as childish as him so i don't respond. But why his he not letting go. Why persist on trying to hurt me? I'm scared he might tell the guy from college something about me that Idon't want him to hear just yet. So how can I control my evil ex. Because I've tried reasoning but it just doesnt work. You'd think since he's the one who ended it he'd have a heart and not try to rub my face in it but he does. And I need desperate help because it's getting out of hand now.Thanks all x
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female
reader, xSarax +, writes (3 October 2007):
xSarax is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your help everyone.
Just to keep you posted I'm happy now with my boyfriend (the one from college) and my ex is having a very troubled relationship.
True what they say what goes around comes around! xxx
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Because thats what we, as girls, do honey! Ok guys have to too sometimes. But i know what you mean. I posted a question about a split & you just cant include all the details. My ex stole from me twice, but denied it til after we split & was in contact with his ex the whole time he was with me, even though he denied it, but we are the ones in the wrong ey?????
Ive had all sorts of accusations thrown in my face in txt since we split, and do you know why they do it? because they wont accept their shortcomings. To do that would mean them accepting any blame.
The best thing you can do is try and distance yourself from this guy. Go as far away as you can, change your number. I have now. And the thought they cant just fly a txt off to you that you have to read is very satisfying.
If you have a new guy now dont let this low life take up anymore of your time! Hes not worth it & you know you deserve better & hopefully you now have it!
Good luck xxxxx
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A
female
reader, xSarax +, writes (26 July 2007):
xSarax is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe ended it because when we first started to go out his new girlfriend said that she felt she missed her chance. I trusted them to be mates and they both through it in my face. What makes me the most angry is i always stuck up for my ex when everyone was slagging him off. When my mates told me how much of an d**k he was i still believed him. Love is blind. Basically he dumped me for his girlfriend, in a way im glad he did. It upsets me that i'm getting compared to her though because she has nothing on me. I'm not bigging myself up but in general im a better person than her. Nobody gets on with her really they just put up with her. In a way im just so jelous of her. But not because shes with my ex because he's shown his true colours. I fell so stupid and have lost all my confidence and trust. And the lad im seeing now is gunna pay for my ex's mistakes and its just not fair because i can't help feeling the way i do.
And they will always be in my way. They'll do it on purpose. but i just can't control my bitterness.
It was because i was on my cloud 9 all happy and then she interfered and i just fell hard to reality. And was forced to move on and open my eyes.
I had to deal with lots of issues through out the relationship so im jus gunna come out and say it. My ex gave me a bad STD. And throughout the relationship blamed me for it and was seeing his 'gf' but she was a virgin at the time. So he probably passed it to her aswell. And now he's telling everyone about it trying to make out i am some kind of sleese. He's threatened to tell the lad i am seeing. But I dont know why because I've got rid of it.
He's doing this so that i will be on my own and have to watch them together. which i will do because we share the same friends. I believed that i gave it him untill he told me that it was him that had given it to me. I told some of my closest friends, so everyone will now think i am lying. I just don't know what to do. I know that if i start another fight it will make things worse.
But writing it down here still wont give you the full picture. The full pictures worse. I'm not playing the innocent card here i actually havent done anything wrong in all of this so why should i have to be the one to suffer from his actions?
Please write back and i really appritiated those last comments!!! x x x
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (26 July 2007):
Hi,
First thing to say is that hitting his girlfriend was a big mistake. I heard what you said about provocation, and I sympathise with you. But by doing this, you make it look like some of the things he has been saying are true. Whatever it takes, you must not let this happen again. If you come into contact and they can get a rise out of you, they will. It is pathetic of course, but you can’t control their behaviour. The only behaviour that you can control is yours. Can you avoid them completely if you have to? I know you will say “why should I have to do that?”, but I am thinking of you avoiding more trouble and grief by leaving them to it. Obviously as you know, you are well rid of him, so avoiding him should be a pleasure. When you do have to pass by them, give them a friendly wave and move on. No – don’t laugh, I mean it. And not a sarcastic ‘friendly’ wave – which is as bad or worse than shouting abuse! If you refuse to rise to provocation, there is less reason for them to get at you. Also, other people will see you behaving like a grown-up (unlike your ex), and will draw their own conclusions as to how believable he is.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 July 2007):
Why did he end the relationship?
Because that will have some bearing on why he's behaving that way. I ended a relationship because someone was lying, but that made me very angry.
He sounds very bitter about something but hes not being fair on you or his new bit of skirt.
Tell him to get off his chest what he needs to say & then stop it. Its not going to get him anywhere is it.
Thats what i did & today feel like a weight has been lifted.
Good luck
C xxxx
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