A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 1 year dumped me on Wednesday.I am going on holiday on Saturday and on Friday, he might not have been able to see me because he might have a job interview in the day and at night he was going visting his friends in another town.He started thinking i was stressing at him cos i couldn't see him but i weren't, so then he starts stressing at me that i am jealous of him- going to see his friends and having a job interview, so this big argument starting cos he wound me up, so i said alot of nasty things about his friends and called them scum- i know i was nasty and i regret it alot, i wish i hadn't said it. Now he says he had had enough, and just wants to be friends again, he's sick of all the silly arguments we have that don't matter or aren't important, he thinks we will be able to talk better too.I made a mistake yesterday,after reading this site alot,and looking at other ppl's probs, you should give ur partner space,i didn't and asked him if he'd give me one last chance and he text me bk and said i'd made things worse, and he just wants to be mates.What do i do? I'm falling apart, i can't stop crying, i haven't eaten in 24 hours, ive started being sick, i feel weak.And i dont want to go on holiday becoz il be thinking of him all the time, n wondering where i went wrong.I am seeing him tonight, what do i said to him, how do i act?Please help, he means the world to me.
View related questions:
jealous, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying back with some more advice, you've really helped me.Now I'm just going to let him decide when the time is right, and just go with the flow, see where things take us.And hopefully he'll have a clean mind when i come back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2006): You ask is this a good thing? YES, YES, YES! Sounds as if he's feeling a little more relaxed (I'm the woman who posted you recommending things to do TODAY to change your focus a bit).
NOW: go on holiday and have a great time, come back feeling refreshed and with new energy. Let him have space and to be friends for now.
IMPORTANT: If you can accept what he told you this evening and NOT PRESSURE him to be your boyfriend, you will have a good chance of improving the relationship significantly.
In any case, think of it as an opportunity to respect his wishes, and not think about what YOU want. Meantime, enjoy your friends, school or job, and social activities - people who have a life of their own are more attractive than coming over as very needy!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for your advice,its been a great help. I met up with him tonight, and he's giving me another chance but needs space, he says he doesn't want me to be his girlfriend again yet, he just wants to see me and not be with anybody else, and he says we will see what happens in the coming weeks. Is this a good thing?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): You're seeing him this evening? Okay: TODAY get a good meal (begin eating normally again); wear some clothes you like and look good on you; do your hair and put on some makeup. Pay attention to what you are doing at your job, or school, and give that your best. Get outside at lunchtime and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air; read a book or magazine that interests you.
THEN, I hope that by doing the above, when you see him this evening you will be more "balanced", in a calmer frame of mind and not feeling so desperate.
Let him know that you regret the nasty things you said about his friends, you realize you were in the wrong - and THEN don't say any more! In other words, apologize but don't grovel, don't make a big deal of it. Don't ask him to give you another chance, either! See what he says. I hope that if you come across as not being so needy, and recognizing that you made a mistake, that he will be more relaxed and open. IF HE STILL SAYS HE WANTS JUST TO BE FRIENDS, however, just accept it. Don't try to persuade him to go back to being your boyfriend!
After you go home, and go on holiday Saturday, concentrate on enjoying your holiday, and don't fret or worry! Because, you will have done all you can do, and having done all you can, you have to let it rest and see how it works out in the next few weeks.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (13 July 2006):
I know your in pain but you have to keep in mind what you want and that is him. And to get that all you have to do is to do what he says- give him space.
In the meantime to help you cope better, tell yourself positive thoughts. Do things that make you feel good! You can't tell me your whole life and the happiness u have honestly depends on your ex bf? If it does well then you should get ou there and find other bits of happiness because believe me, boys arent the only good things in life! There is soooo much more! So remember that even though you may not be with him, there are still good things in life. And you will get through it. Surround yourself with your other friends and family.
To sum things up, when you see him again, give him space. Just have a casual chat. Dont pressure him into geting back with you. If and when he is ready, he should say something. He said he needs space and thats all you can do, is give him space in hope things will get better. good luck and remember, there is sooo much in life to achieve- with or without a guy.
...............................
A
male
reader, tonsta +, writes (13 July 2006):
i know this is hard to hear but give him SPACE if he does love you he will contact you. 1 year is a fair time to be with someone and unless he gave up on you a while ago he must be feeling some sort of hurt himself. i was in a recent experience and i was with this girl for 4 1/2 years! i kept txting ringing etc.. and all i dont was leave it and she starting txting me. we didnt get back together tho so dont build up your hopes but give the space he needs and also try not to see him either because by being friends your still in his life so as far as he will be concerned he has not lost you. hope everything works for you.
...............................
|
