A
female
age
30-35,
*oulie
writes:Hey! erm my boyfriend of 16 months broke up with me last tuesday by text...and it wasn't asif i was expecting it he had been fine with me. He text me saying he doesn't want anything to do with me and that has really f**ked me up because he wasn't just my bf he was my best friend i told him everyting. Yesterday i was also told that he has got a new girlfriend and that has made things worse because i feel as if he broke up with me for her. I just feel so vunerable at the moment and i just really want to be loved. I recently found out that i am 10 and a half weeks pregnant with his child but i havent told him yet because i am aborting the baby.I just feel like my whole world is falling apart at 16 and i don't know how i am going to cope. I have also turned to alcohol and drugs to try forget the memories of him and i shouldn't be going through all of this at 16 i just don't know what to do anymore. Please if someone could give me some advice i would much appreciate it.
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female
reader, Iwillsurvive  +, writes (30 July 2008):
Baby Girl, I am so sorry that you have to experience such pain and betrayal at such a young age. I myself am in some what the same situation. I was dating a past lover who went to prison for 11 years. He came out and looked for me and I embraced him only to get pregnant a month after. I allowed him to live with my son and I and I found out that he was having and may still be having an affair with my cousin. He denied it and so did she but the sad part is that the exteneded members of my family know about the affair and won't say a word to me knowing that I love this man very much. Anyway I had an abortion and after the abortion I continued to be with him. He treated me so cruel and cold. I couldn't help but constantly feel like a fool. I would try to leave him alone but end up going back to him. and ended pregnant again only for him to play with my mind, feelings and continue to treat me like garbage. I cried and weeped. My heart felt like it was literally breaking, pounding like it was coming out of my chest. I called him to get half the money for an abortion and he denied me while telling me about his new fling who happens to be a former schoolmate. He told me he wanted the baby and not to kill another child and I entertained the thought but I can't be with a man that doesn't love or respect me and I refuse to go through this pregnacy by myself. I DESERVE BETTER AND SO DO YOU. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. IT MAY SEEM LIKE IT BUT TRUST ME YOU WILL BE FINE. READ THE BIBLE EVEN IF YOU AREN'T REALLY RELIGIOUS. YOU WILL FIND COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT GOD IS WATCHING OVER YOU. HE USES THINGS LIKE THIS TO MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON AND TO BRING YOU CLOSER TO HIM. YOU ARE BEING TESTED. YOU WILL PASS THIS TEST BY SEEKING REFUGE IN THE WORD OF GOD. READ PSALMS 55 AS WELL AS OTHER PSALMS VERSES. IT WORKS. JUST TRY TO BE PATIENT AND REMEMBER TO LOVE TRY TO LOVE YOURSELF. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): I know exactly how you feel sweetheart, but drugs and alcohol are not the answer. I also have a friend in the same situation as you are, but she's keeping the baby. Many women feel horrible after abortions, so have you thought about adoption? And you should forget about that boy. He's just a stupid teenager! Boys don't know what they want until they turn into men, and even still they're a bit indecisive. This should also tell you that birth control and condoms are there for a reason. It's usually highschool kids with unwanted pregnancies and passing around STDs. Be more careful next time! Plus, you should still make you boyfriend your best friend, but you should have other best friends, too. You need someone that you know will catch you when you need them to. I wish you the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): Hey there, I feel your pain. I totally feel it! My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. My dad passed away a week before that. Imagine how I felt then. I had just lost my dad and my asshole of a boyfriend decided to dump me too.
2 days ago, he told me he had a new girlfriend. I was like, 'How the hell did he move on so fast???' Boy, I was so mad at him, I'm still damn mad at him right now. He said that he doesn't feel that I love him, care for him or appreciate him. He also said that he doesn't love me as much as he did the last time. He said he had put 100% of his attention on me last time and he regrets it now.
Now, he doesn't believe me when I tell him that I really do love him. I'm quite at a loss now. I have no mood, no appetite, nothing. When I think back of the good times we had together, it breaks my heart even more!
I turn to a few close friends now for help and advice as well as moral support. My family does not even know that I'm suffering from a bad break up. That's even worse. Suffering in silence. Thank God I have friends to help me get over it.
Unfortunately, I'm not if I can get over him or not. I'm still hoping that he'll come to his senses, leave his new girl, and come back to me. Oh man, do I sound pathetic or what??? I don't know. My friends said that he's a jerk and an idiot for not appreciating what he already has. He's also not worth fighting for too. But then, when I think back, he's been such a good boyfriend and I believed that he really loved me. Now, I'm not sure if he still feels the same or not.
He did beg me to take him back after he broke up with me. But that time, I played 'hard to get'. I didn't know that he already had girl No. 2 on his mind. So, even if I said no, he can always turn to girl No. 2. It's a rebound relationship and I hope it doesn't last long!!!
I know. I'm such a bitter ex-girlfriend. But last night, my family and I went to eat at the restaurant where he was working at. I ignored him completely and he didn't talk to me either. But I know he was looking at me. I would give anything to know what he was thinking then. Anyway, I just talked and laughed with my family. I want to show him that I'm not hurt anymore and that I'm just as happy without him.
I don't know how long I can keep this act up. My heart is just burning inside me. And I'm only 20.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): well im sorry that this guy could not see what a wonderful person you are.but is his loss not to have you in his life.and dont worry you will make it though yes you will its hard at times but you will get there.try to stop the drugs and drinking it not helping you.and you must think of you at this time.i know that you will get though this even if it hard to see at this time.and i know how you feel i to have been though this and life does go one. im still single at the mo but now know that i am a lot better off than with a man who can not see my true worth.i wish you all the best and lookafter yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): hiya luv u need to forget about him and move on but u also need to give up on the alcohol and drugs for the baby's sake even tho u are aborting am sure u have feelings for this baby
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Hi, you are probably very confused at this time and i am assuming that you dont have anyone else to talk to. The first thing you should do is stop your use of alcohol and drugs, that is going to make the problem bigger and you would land yourself in a bigger mess. They are temporary "problems disappearer" once you are not intoxicated the problem is still going to be there. Honey, it is your decision what you would like to do about your pregnancy. You should just make the best decision you think is fit for you and your unborn baby. With regards to your bf, forget about him. He is not worth it. You definately dont deserve to be treated the way he has treated you. Once you have terminated your pregnancy as you planned, go out and meet new people, make new friends and i am sure that you would meet the rigth person that would love you unconditionally. Just think positive.
Good luck & if you wanna chat, mail me.... i would like to be a shoulder for!
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A
female
reader, Loulie +, writes (4 July 2007):
Loulie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wrote this before
Thanks for the advice. One person said that i should of protected myself agianst unwanted pregnancies well i did but when i was at the doctors having a pregnancy test the nurse told me that the contraceptive pill that i was taking wasn't suitable for me and my body wasn't reacting to it so that is how i ended up pregnant.
Erm for everyone who said I shouldn't abort the baby i respect your views but the situation I am in at the moment I just don't think that it would be the best idea. I haven't given it the best start of life and I don't think mentally that I would be able to cope with a baby that I don't want.
Also I am considering counselling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): You poor girl. You are right nobody should have to go through what you are going through expecially at your age. Please get some counselling. I am not going to say dont get an abortion, that is your choice, just talk to someone face to face before you make such a huge decision. My best friend got pregnant to a guy who dumped her when he found out she was pregnant at your age and decided to abort the baby, and regretted it every day since.
Another friend got into the same situation at 17 and kept the baby. That "baby" is now 6 and while it was hard for my friend at the time she had lots of support from friends and family and has never regretted her decision.
I hope you have a happy life whatever you decide to do. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Loulie +, writes (29 June 2007):
Loulie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. One person said that i should of protected myself agianst unwanted pregnancies well i did but when i was at the doctors having a pregnancy test the nurse told me that the contraceptive pill that i was taking wasn't suitable for me and my body wasn't reacting to it so that is how i ended up pregnant.Erm for everyone who said I shouldn't abort the baby i respect your views but the situation I am in at the moment I just don't think that it would be the best idea. I haven't given it the best start of life and I don't think mentally that I would be able to cope with a baby that I don't want.Also I am considering counselling.
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A
female
reader, serenityjohnson +, writes (29 June 2007):
You will eventually find someone better but PLEASE do not abort the baby it has done nothing to you, and trust me if u keep it then u will love it more than anything but if you don't u will regret if for the rest of your life...so please don't make "THE BIG MISTALE...PLEASE...
You can message me for help or questions..
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A
female
reader, Vane +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Okay Loulie calm down. If you found out you're pregnant PLEASE STOP DOING DRUGS AND DRINKING FOR THE SAKE OF THE BABY EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE HAVING AN ABORTION. And if he broke up with you without telling you why then forget him. Because that happened to me too and he was my best friend too. Eventually you will think that what you felt was stupid because like they say there are many more fish in the sea. I hope i helped. Message me if you want to talk.
-Vanessa(Vane)
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A
female
reader, Brandi +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Forget his ass. If he did not have the nerve to come up to you and break up and TELL YOU why then he is a waste of time. Move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): The best advice I think I can give you is please seek some counseling, you need support during all you are going through, find a good therapist and commit to going to sessions and doing the work they ask of you.
Doing any kind of drugs is going to make you high, and then crash you to all time new lows, this is having devestating effects on your growing body and your brain, please get help for this and stop it now.
You need to find out why at 16 you are in such long relationships that most likely revolve around having sex, and why you are not protecting yourself agains unwanted pregnancy, you want someone to love, but you can't trap someone with a baby or have a baby so something will love you unconditionally. You obviously have some personal issues that you need to get to the bottom of and work out, otherwise your life will be a devestating mess.
Please seek that professional help.
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A
female
reader, xo-TrueLove-ox +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Well all i can say is don't do that to urself...if he dumped you for her ur gonna obviously find a better guy soon. The abortion and drugs thing...i wudn't abort the baby...it doens't deserve death...and the drugs won't help you forget no matter what anyone says...they just kinda ease the pain...i wud suggest some counciling from someone you trust like your parents or whoever...but the memories will go away over time...i kno i've been hurt by a guy kinda like that once but i got over it...just give it time n you'll be fine trust me :)
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