A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need help I broke off the relationship with this guy after a year of dating because he starts drinking an tries to hurt me bad and it happen like 3 time and I told him I cant take it any more I no he loves me but he dont no how to handle his drinking and I dont want him to kill me and then the next day be asking his self what happen he keep saying he is going to get help now because he wants me back but he has said that same line all 3 times after trying to hurt me after his drunkness comes down I am trying to stay strong about keeping him out my life and it has been like 1 month now he still calls I still hang up because I know it not a healthy relationship for me because he can blow up at anytime but I no I still love him because the good out weighs the bad what do you think I should do!
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female
reader, Jessamy +, writes (27 November 2006):
Do stay strong, don't go back to him! You deserve better than that. Love has to be proven with actions, not just words. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be hurting you. So many women in relationships with abusive men keep going back to them because they say that they have changed, that they love her, that it won't happen again. They always end up getting hurt over and over. This relationship is not good for you in any way. Get out of it and stay out.
The fact that you are in love may make that difficult, but you WILL have more loves in your life. It's okay to move on from this one, and to wait for someone who will treat you with respect and ACT with love towards you, not just say the words. If possible, speak to a friend or family member about what has been going on, and call them instead if you feel tempted to call him. You need support. Remember, there is NEVER an excuse for violence towards you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Well, we all seem to go for the wrong people at some time in our lives. I did, and it took me a long time to get away. Stay strong and stay away from him. If in the future he give up drink and stays off it for a long time and you two meet up and you are both single then maybe give it a go but certainly not now. I see a road of complete misery for yourself. Get out there, meet someone else and get over him. Change your phone number.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Emma_Australila_1983  +, writes (27 November 2006):
 Hmmm, well one month really isn't long enough for him to change a habit like that. If he really loves you he would go and get real, professional help. And that would take at least a year for him to really break through and start to make some life changing progress. You have to think about how you want to spend the rest of your time with this guy. No-one ever deserves to be treated that way, and he should stop drinking until he really got help about his anger.
I would just tell him to go and sort himself out and in maybe a year or so if he really thinks he's got it together and got over his anger problems then he can look you up and see how it goes from there. In the meantime you can get along with your life and enjoy being you, unharmed and in a safe happy environment. And who knows whats out there waiting for you? I'm sure its got to be bigger and better and fantastic compared to this.
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A
male
reader, guylostinlove +, writes (27 November 2006):
obviously, he's reckless when drunk, which is a shame.
brings out the worse in some of us.
give him an ultimatum and see if he gives up drinking for you. or at some rate, drinks less. otherwise, this might be your last post indeed!
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