A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:ok i've started seeing this guy about 4 or 5 weeks ago and everything is going well - i'm quite surprised at this because all my life i've had failed relationships and i'm not really that confident when it comes to relationships. When he's drunk he always instigates sex which is great and i love it however he's quite shy when he's sober and i find myself acting shy around him too. The reason being that i hate rejection and if i tried it on with him and he rejected me i'd die off. But after having so many failed relationship sin the pat i really want this one to work out for us, i can see myself being with him for a ong long time and really that is unusual for me. My friends say they have even seen a change in me from i met him and i'm wondering whether i should just make the move and pounce on him when i'm sober or just leave things the way they are, surely if he wanted sex he would try it on?? I'm sooo confused..my friends knows him quite well and she said that he's not really into girls and she's surprised that he's acually going with me because she has never known him to go out with anyone. Well i know he's not a virgin so would it just be that he's shy and needs a bit of drink for confidence?? I don't want to go through this whole relationship with him relying on drink to make a move on me, i would have sex every day with him if i could but should it always be me to make the move???
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female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (12 January 2010):
I'd just pounce on him. Not sure if it's the right thing to do bit it's what I'd do.
A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 There's one thing that you or anyone can attest to: alcohol definitely loosens anyone up. The more you drink, the less inhibited you feel. I'm gonna guess that's the case with your boyfriend. What you need to do is convey to him that he doesn't have anything to fear from you (because that's most likely the one thing on his mind -- fear of being rejected). So, if want to be the one to start the ball rolling, be my guest and do it! Show him that it's not the vodka saying it's OK to get a little interactive -- it's you!!
The theory here is that if you start with a non-alcoholic encounter, then perhaps he will get the hint and do the same next time as well.
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