A
male
age
41-50,
*andekamp10
writes:My boyfriend has recently decided that he doesn't want to see his family anymore. They won't accept him being gay and after years of making an effort and trying to forget it, he's had enough. So with Xmas coming up, he won't be spending it with them.I asked him if he would like to spend Xmas with my family, but he said it would be weird - he gets on fine with them but I presume it would just be a reminder that he can't be with his own and he wouldn't enjoy it. I was a bit upset at first, especially as I assumed that meant he would be staying home on his own and we only live about 15 mins away.Yesterday I finally asked him again what his plans are and he said a friend had asked him to spend Xmas with her and her family. I can't understand why spending it with a different family would be any less weird?!I've told him how I feel but he is not the best at talking about stuff like this so I have kind of left it, but I do feel a bit rejected and can't quite understand his thinking. I honestly have tried to accept that it's just not a big deal to him and we get the other 364 days of the year together, but I just can't shake it off. I know I will end up thinking about it the whole time! Xmas is a fairly big thing in my family and I can't tell my mum that he is either staying at home or going to a friends instead so I have to lie that he is going to family.Has anyone got any advice on what I can do or why it's not really such a big deal?! My friends all think it's mad but sometimes friends aren't great at being impartial!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): i dont think that he is really comfortable with it yet give him time try to understand and dont get angry when you dont understand it really isnt that big of a deal because you know he isnt going too go and do something with that girl... and he would probably feel much more comfortable with her...
A
male
reader, honest_human +, writes (19 December 2010):
1st off, His family suck for not supporting him.
2nd. I'm not a talker either, I can't seem to say how I feel to my GF sometimes. So she told me to text it to her, even though she was right next to me, and it came out easier.
I think, maybe you should show this to him, and let him say what he's thinking via typing. It's best to understand someone by asking them. Not others.
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