A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to this guy since December 2015. We have been on two date and speak pretty much every day. He works away offshore so it's hard to meet up with his as he is often away. Part of me wants to ask him what are we? As it has been so long since we started talking. But then I think; it's only two dates in? I don't know what to do? I really like him and want this to go somewhere. He says he likes me too. He says he doesn't like to rush into a relationship and likes things to happen naturally. But how long am I going to have to wait? I don't know if I'm taken or not? What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2016): So I should just give up and move on..?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 September 2016):
 I think it means , no we are not sort of " a thing ",like
in : sort of " an item ". A couple, basically. Two people who are together. He does not see it as a relationship.
It should be no wonder to you, because, I mean, Ok taking things slow, but... two dates in 9 months ?... He is not that bothered , trust me. Oh yes , he likes you, you like him, he likes to kiss you when he sees you, to talk to you , ( texts and chats are a nice passtime when you work offshore ),... and as far as he is concerned, this can go on for eons.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2016): Update; I didn't word it well and autocorrect changed it before I noticed but I meant to say like its a "what are we" sorta thing but no labels, just where do I stand.
However it came out as "so we are sorta thing" in which he replied "not yet"
What does that even mean.
I don't want to give up on something that makes me happy but it kills me to know that he may only be in it for fun :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2016): I told him that lately he has seemed distant and not interested in pursuing this any further.
All he replied was "I'm just tired babe"
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A
female
reader, Auntie Goddess  +, writes (6 September 2016):
 If i were in your position (and i am in a confusing whatevership) because it has been 9 months you're in the right to at least ask if you should see other people or not. Word it a lot nicer than that though! lol.. "Out of respect for the both of us, I'm just wondering where we stand. There\s no need to put labels on anything, I understand you want this whatevership to progress naturally, but when I'm asked out on a date I don't know what to say" (something along those lines)I see you're a little younger than me so this may not apply to you but I personally won't have sex with more than one person at a time and i expect the same treatment..Good luck! If you're nervous bringing up the topic, do not be afraid to say you're nervous and you don't want to say the wrong thing. If he's super into you, he'll do his best to understand your point of view :).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2016): It's annoying because I really like him. And he says he likes me too.
I don't want to give up on him but I don't want to waste my time on something that isn't there.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (5 September 2016):
 I would venture to say that if you have been "seeing" him since December and you have only been out together twice that this is not a relationship and I would move on. It's one thing to move slow and it's another to not be going anywhere at all. You have already invested 9 months. Don't waste anymore.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 September 2016):
 I think the taking things slow is a great approach... but ...
I definitely think after 9 months it's PERFECTLY OK to ask, what you are, where you stand. Even with only 2 dates.
However.... if you two have only met up twice in 9 months is this really the kind of relationship you want? Good guy or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): Thank you for your advice. I should perhaps have commented that on our date, we have kissed.
It all feels (to me) that we are becoming something but I don't want to scare him off by "rushing it"
I just want to know where I stand though.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (4 September 2016):
Now that you are talking every day would seem that you both are good friends,but the question is ,does he see you only as a friend or in the romantic light of a girlfriend.The point is as he stated he likes things to happen....but you nor he know if something is going to happen.On the other hand,if you ask him point blank,you might risk putting him of.However you know his personaility well.So you will have to balance it all out well and decide what to do.Best luck NORA B.
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