A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been with the same guy for 4 years. he took everything from me. we are like night and day. he tells me he loves me but when we get into fights he calls me fat and tells me he will not have a fat wife. i am about 125 pounds and a little over 5 feet. i do not feel like a fat person but average. i think he does it because he wants me to feel bad and leave him. he claims its because he loves me he want to tell me only so that i can do something about it. i realize he does not really love me after all these years if he cant handle a little five pound weight gain. Why do you guys think he does this to me if he knows it hurts and he continues to be mean? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): Maybe he has another woman or two......(based from my own experience)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): GET RID OF HIM AS SOON AS YOU CAN. When you love someone, you accept what they are, not change them to suit your likes and dislikes.
Your going to be miserable if you marry him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): According to your bmi , you are fine so don't worry, explain to him that it hurts your feelings x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 December 2009):
I'd say dump him. A guy should accept you for who you are. He hasn't, so get rid of him and find a guy who will instead.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 Why can't people just use KG. Because I get the figure of 56 kg, for a 1.52 meter girl. That suggests to me a roundish figure. Or not, no idea.
The point is, he apparently sees nothing wrong with dating a fat girl, nothing wrong with fucking one either, just not marriage. Oops.
What does "he took everything from me" mean? Are we talking finance, virginity, dignity? And how are you two so different?
You say you have been gaining weight. 5 pounds in how much time? While five pounds is not much, if it keeps being added each year...
Basically, he has made it very clear what he wants. It might not be very nice of him to say this, but you are the one dating him. Do you want to marry a guy who is going to make demands about your weight or do you want someone who accepts you as you are, even if you are not an ideal weight?
Personally, I get the feeling there is a lot more wrong in this relationship then you are telling.
But as a man, if you have been gaining weight rapidly, I can see that he might comment on it. I wouldn't put it as he has but then I like my balls attached.
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A
female
reader, JasmineThyme +, writes (20 December 2009):
Leave him. His need to control you will get worse with time. Whether you see it or not, this degradation of you is a way to manipulate you. Get out!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (20 December 2009):
 LOL dont punch him in the face we have had enough chris brown and Rhiana scenarios for one year see i knew Rhiana started it. any way the thing is this guys a jerk if he doesnt want to marry a fat girl then he shouldnt want to sleep with one either so why is he still doing you need to stick up for your self screw that who the hell is he ok 125lbs sounds healthy to me this guy has issues tell him your done and walk out on him im serious maybe hell come crawling back maybe he wont who cares you can do better alot better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): He does it because he can,YOu are letting him get away with it.A guy learns what works and uses it.Deep down almost every girl thinks she's fat even though she really isn't.Some guys know how to use a girls insecurities to control them.The saying goes "TREAT THEM MEAN TO KEEP THEM KEEN".It's a Bad Boy tactic.It's like using a pick up line.Girls are suckers for having low self esteem and falling for the loser type.Personally I think 125 is pretty darn skinny. I would never call a girl fat even if she was because I understand that would hurt her.I believe you are attracted to the confidence this bad boy has even though you know he isn't good for you.He actually doesn't love you as much as he loves himself.Enjoy the ride watch out for the crash landing though.
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A
female
reader, Lovesucks1234 +, writes (20 December 2009):
 Wow. He's very imature. I'm an th grader and the BOYS in our grade do that. He has no reason to call you fat. He's a stupid cockslap. Your 125 pounds ppl would kill to weigh that much. And yu might look a little more than that because yur not very tall. Find someone that doesn't call yu fat because your not.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (20 December 2009):
 If he says it only when he's mad, then I assume he's just one of those people who releases rage by hurting people on purpose. It's horrible and I'm really, really glad I'm not one of those people. If you want to know if he wants you to leave him because you feel fat, then tell him you will lose weight. If he stalls and tries to find excuses for you not to, then I'm guessing you're right. If he says that's awesome, then you should punch him in the face and tell him that you feel comfortable as you are and if he refuses to marry you over five pounds, then he can either get over it and marry you, or lose you.
~Sy
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