A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I will try and keep this brief...... My boyfriend ask me to marry him over a year ago, however whenever i try to talk about the wedding he says that he doesn't want to get married and he meant the proposal " at the time"!! He has met all my family however whenever i suggest that we see his family he complains that his parents are too far or makes excuses. Now i would be willing to accept the " too far" issue if we didn't go travelling to Las Vegas, Grenada etc. His parents are about a 30mins flight from us. Not really sure what is going on so would really like a male point of view on this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): I think what he did indicates he has some big issues with his family. That's likely why you never met them when they are 30 minutes away and it's likely why he's ambiguous about marriage.
They could poor.
They could be extremely dysfunctional.
They might be a sort of people you've expressed negative opinions about in the past.
They could just strange, but your boyfriend clearly is going to great lengths, even renegging on a marriage proposal to avoid you meeting them.
Rather than worry about your engagement status, you might try to suss out what is going on with his family and if you love him, reassure him that you're in love with him rather than who he's related to.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (21 December 2012):
I think he's being honest with you that he no longer wants to marry you.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (21 December 2012):
 Hi
He has changed his mind, he probably did mean it a year ago and now he doesn't want that future with you.He has been honest.
You haven't even met his family which would be all part of the relationship going forward.I don't know how long you have been together,you don't say.Unless HIS family are really weird,embarassing or disfuncntional he has no reason not to introduce you
Its sad I know,but its time to let him go.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 December 2012):
 He means that when he proposed he just got caught up in the moment, and then he regretted it. He is literally saying " it seemed a good idea at the time, but ".
I have to agree with the other Aunts, what happened is that he took his promise back, does not want to marry you , and does not want you to do anything engagementish ( taking you to his parents ) so that you do not get any "strange "ideas.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): 'There is absolutely no point in making myself exclusive to you if you don't want us to get married. Please don't string me along. I need a man who wants me as his wife. If you can't be man enough to marry me just admit it so that I can go find another man who can. I love you. I want to have your children & make you happy as your wife, but if you can't be a man & take the lead in my life by taking possession of me in marriage then it's best we part ways.' Just say something along those lines. Sometimes guys need to be reminded by the women who love them that they are men & therefore they need to be strong for them & their relationship. Nothing makes a man feel more manly & strong like the words of masculine affirmation from the women who love them. So if you want to marry your boyfriend, treat him like a man, talk to him like a man, remind him that he's the man in the relationship. Right now this is what he needs from you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 December 2012):
 I think So Very Confused has it right. You do not have a wedding planned AND he says he doesn't want to get married. He says he meant the proposal at the time? That means he does not honor his proposal. You are not officially engaged.
If you want marriage and he doesn't, he won't introduce you to his parents, um, well, there are a couple of red flags right there.
What's going on is he's hoping you won't mind so much you up and leave him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
 I"m not a male but I think you have a broken engagement.
Be happy he told you before he married you rather than ask for a divorce two or three years later.
In other words he's changed his mind and does not want to marry you.
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