A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my guy 4 nearly 8 monthes. His best friends are female and i know he wont cheat on me..he's female mates have boyfriends. We all planned to do something on saturday then he asked me if i would be upset if he just go out with them without me.... am i being stupid by being upset?? i dont want to be childish and make a fuss about it and make a whole big thing about it coz i really like him, and plus im 19 and he is 29.
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female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 It is not necessarily that he is cheating on you, but rather a case of he cares what his friends think of him, and you.
You are not stupid for being upset, and he is unfair in wanting to leave you out of his life like that - because that is what he is doing - excluding you. If this is only once, then it is another story. He might just need some time off - relaxing with friends, and that is totally normal. My bf and i go out per occasion without one another, and we have the openess to tell the other WHY we don't want them tagging along. The reasons vary from uncomfortable situation - i.e. some of my friends don't like him and vica versa, to needing some time apart - just relaxing with some mates.
Either way - i don't take it up as an insult anymore. I used to, but now it's okay - as long as i know the reason.
So - if this is something that happens on a regular basis, then you need to sit him down and chat to him, and tell him how it makes you feel. Also that you understand he needs time on his own too, and that is okay - but he needs to be honest with you about it. If he want's too much time away from you, that is also not good, and then you might have a whole new set of problems all together. Either way - you need to speak to him...
Good luck
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Where there's smoke, there's fire. I think it's very strange that all his best friends are women. How convenient for him if one of them gets so drunk she ends up sleeping with him, and now he's shutting you out of being there too? I smell trouble. You should too. This guy is not what he seems. I think there's something going on here and either you need to insist on coming along, insist he stop hanging out with only women, or plant a friend where ever they go, to observe what's really going on. Good luck.
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