A
female
age
41-50,
*issmum
writes:i met this guy in 1995 on holiday we have been in contact ever since, he now says he isnt happy with her and want to be with me. what do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): You don't say what type of relationship you have had with this man for 12 years? Are you telling us that you have been having an affair for the past 2 years and he now want's to make it official?
Equally there almost seems to be a panic in your post that perhaps you now need to make some decision as to what type of relationship you are wanting, hence the 'he wants to be with me now - what should I do?'
If you have been having an affair, whats the problem. Isn't this what all the mistressess desire, to get the guy in the end? If there was no affair and just friendship, you have both held back in persuing your relationship further because of his partner and he now wants to be freed from his committments to his partner to be with you, then have a real relationship with him which will tell you if it is something which was worth waiting 12 years for.
You need to ask yourself if this is really what you were hoping for in the end.
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (27 November 2007):
Do you know the other girl? Are you friends with her?
Do you like this guy? Do you love her?
If you are not friends with his current girlfriend and If you like him and want to give it a try, why not...
But if you know the girl, or friends, think twice from an ethics point of view.
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A
male
reader, jimmycrackcorn  +, writes (27 November 2007):
If he is married, back off. Wait for him to divorce her. Otherwise, what's holding him back? Could it just be a fascination?
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