A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, ok, so I'll try keep this very brief. I'm 30, met a guy in a bar last month, his 27. Gorgeous, funny and yum. We get on great. However he doesn't do relationships and made it pretty clear... But we started seeing each other. Were both pretty busy with stresses in life. I'm looking for nee job as just been made unemployed and a new flat as I have to move out in a month, so I'm feeling low as think I'll never get job, and be homeless and too old to have decent life like always wanted! Anyway... The boy Is also looking at getting a new job although he Is very secure in job. I know in back of mind he doesn't want a relationship but the obvious has happened, I've fallen for him. We've met quite few times and we were speaking everyday for past month. We talk about everything. Anyway... He went on a boys holiday and said he'd call day he got back as we arranged to meet that week. But... Week later heard nothing, day came and went and he never contacted me or respond to my contact. I feel it's because I'm not good enough for him, his young, got great job, good looking, got amazing flat, money, funny. I'm old, single, never had long term relationship just been made redundant from shity job, bout to move into my grandmothers till I get sorted. Is it me? Are some guys just like this? Thanks
View related questions:
grandmother, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, loveonce  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 First of all stop feeling down,by stating and restating that ,coz u r in miserable condition,therefore you are being treated as nobody by him.
You are being treated by him like this b'cause he has foreknown,that you will need a support out of him very soon..as he was not serious in making a long term,trustworthy relationship,he moved on..(signs are his not contacting you).He is in such a hurry to save him self from the your responsibility that he has neither offered you a friendly hand,at least nor he will..
You should try to recognize real fact,and should think that those outing stuffs were just a good time pass for him,with no further intentions.
as you are in a condition in which you will need,or expect a good helping hand,he knew it and escaped..now just go on with this period,which is there for a while..and then make a return with things improved and this time,do not try to remain in any sort of relations with him..How can you expect a lovely relation out of a male,who is not taking you and your problem seriously.
and of course he has opportunities other than you.. You also have such opportunities..go ahead and find those true people.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (27 April 2011):
 "I feel it's because I'm not good enough for him, his young, got great job, good looking, got amazing flat, money, funny. I'm old, single, never had long term relationship just been made redundant from shity job, bout to move into my grandmothers till I get sorted. Is it me? Are some guys just like this?" You know exactly what it is, you told us in the first sentence.
HE DOESN'T DD RELATIONSHIPS AND HE MADE THAT CLEAR.
I never understand why women believe that men lie when they say such things, or somehow believe that they can change them. You can't. The guy has been truthful, he told you the score, you knew exactly what he could offer you before you left that bar.
If you want a man for a relationship, then don't date one who says he won't commit. This guy has done nothing wrong, and it's nothing to do with you, he just doesn't do relationships.
Now to the rest of your nonsense.... your a beautiful, stunning woman.. I know this because you managed to pull a young, good looking guy, who liked you enough to see you again. Your a good judge of people, and your not shallow.. looks are nice, but you can appreciate qualities like a good sense of humor. That must mean your good company yourself, you got to be able to laugh to find someone funny.
I know your having a rough day... 30 is young... you got plenty of time... my situation is 10x worst than yours and I'm still hanging on and believing in hope. You got time to retrain if the job situation is that bad, and your still fertile if you were thinking about children.
You just got to get that spring back in your step. You got it, that X-factor, men seem to like you. Work around that, ease off and be nice to yourself, and start having a little faith that you will get exactly what you deserve, even though it's been a long wait. Men can come and go, the right one will stay.
...............................
A
female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (27 April 2011):
What part of "he's not into relationships" did you not understand? I would put my energy into finding a job, moving to grandmother's place, and then work to get some self-esteem back! Also, if you can fall for someone so quickly, I question how lonely you were to start with? I'm sorry you have had your losses, but you are still young and life goes on. To answer your final question, yes I think it is you in this scenario. Work hard on yourself so that the next guy does not make you feel like a dish rag when and if it ends. But, losing a job is very upsetting. Try to ind another job and ASAP so you have income.
...............................
A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (27 April 2011):
First of all - you are NOT old at 30 !!! He's only 3 years younger.
Second , he was honest about not wanting a relationship and that is what happened. He doesn't want a girlfriend - someone to answer to; or be responsible too.
As quick ad possible, I'd lose his #. You deserve a REAL relationship. Someone who wants to be your better half. Hang in there and again you are by no means old!!
...............................
|
