A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, advice desperately needed! Firstly before everyone says it I know I am an idiot for getting myself into this situation but I've fallen for a guy who doesn't want a relationship. We have been 'seeing each other' for about 5 months now - by that I mean meeting up and hanging out, watching a movie etc, just talking, and usually sex. We text every day, see each other 2 or 3 times a week, and I always stay over his, I.e he doesn't kick me out of bed once sex is over. Its all going great and we both agreed we didn't want anything serious as we've both had bad relationship experiences in the past. I still don't want anything too serious, but I deffinetly like him a lot but I'm worried he just sees it as sex. I did ask him and he said he likes me too, its not just about the sex, but he still explicitly doesn't want a relationship. As soon as he said that I began to realise that I do....should I end things with him? I dont want to as we have such a great time together but I'm worried I'm just going to end up getting hurt stuck in this dead end non-relationship.
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female
reader, No watered down advice here!  +, writes (28 July 2013):
 Absolutely... Get out of that relationship! It's times when our mind says one thing but our hearts has it's own plans. As human beings we don't want to be alone, he want a relationship, just not with you. If you stay he'll meet someone and BAM...next thing you'll know he's not only in a relationship, but planning a wedding. Within a month a man knows if he want you or just free sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): When I read this everything that Cindy said came to mind- she is 100% spot on. I'm 22 and honestly I've been emotionally attached to student age guys- the majority like this guy openly admit "they don't want a relationship" and this is a sign to stay in shallow waters for your own protection.
Exactly like Cindy said, he's a young free guy that wants the good times- but not the attachment of a gf I.e the commitment of having to limit himself to one girl , when he's at a stage in his life when he's guna be meeting girls left right and centre and he just wants to enjoy everything in the playground! Don't get me wrong he likes spending time and as a person but he's not a a stage where he wants to deal with the responsibility of a relationship.
So please save yourself from some pain and don't expect anything from this guy, as he's trying to make plain to you that he can't offer what you want.
Take care xxx
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 July 2013):
 Yes, I know it's hard but you probably should be brave and stop right now. The potential for getting hurt is quite high.
You know what all this " not wanting a relationship " is about, right ? ... It does not mean that he does not want to meet your girlfriends, or to buy you a birthday present, or to do other boyfriendish things. It does not sound like this is totally just about sex, and it seems he appreciates your company as well. BUT : what he does not want and is not going to do , is being monogamous and exclusive. He is basically telling you that , as much as he likes you and has good times with you, behind every street corner there may be another girl, or other girls, that he will like even more or have even better times with, and he is not going to miss out on that. Nor he wants your tears or recriminations when / if that happens, because officially you are not together so you have forfeited your claims. He may not be an active player, he may not be purposedly going out seeking, but, make no mistake, this " just seeing each other " means that any time he 'll bump into someone as likeable as you or better- and it may really be any time - he won't deprive himself of the chance.
If you have started developping feelings for this guy, the acceptance of this non-relatonship would be nerve wrecking and bring much bitterness and anxiety in your life. I don't know if the good times are worth that.
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