A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend want to have sex but I am not on the pill and I don't want to, I have regular periods and they a very light, I have no problems with mood swings etc. very lukcy, I think and I don't want to go on the pill because this could change my periods and moods. I love him loads and want to have sex with him but he wont because I am not on the pill. He doesn't think a condom is safe enough. Should I go on the pill.
View related questions:
condom, period, the pill Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 No one can force you to take those pill if you think they will have those side effects on you . You will need to convince him that it is better not to take those pills for health reasons.
But in your post, you said you 'THINK' you may have mood swings if you take those pills. If you have not tried it , how do you know you will have those effects?
The pills have different effects on different people.You got to try it first and if it is true , then you can stop taking them.
There are many types of pills in the market , some with a higher or lower dosage of estrogen and progesterone and you need to consult your doctor and find out which brand suits you.
You should go on the pill and see what happens.Read the instructions on the label. You need to take it for 7 straight days before the protection kicks in.
If you don't want to go on the pill and your b/f does not want to have sex with you , it will be a test of your wills.
Who will be the winner or loser?
A
male
reader, Undisclosed  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 Am I the only one who read the question differently?The boyfriend has absolutely no problem wearing a condom. He certainly wants to and will wear a condom. He just doesn't think they're safe enough and he's right. Condoms are 98% effective and that ONLY when they are used and applied correctly which - depending on the heat of the moment on numerous occasions and (at-times) reapplications - is not always the case. The average is close to 86%.The basic protection of a condom can be supplemented with other methods of contraception. The statistics you may find on these are only an indication of "perfect use" with the statistics on the real average being harder to find. The pill for example fails for any number of reasons ranging for taking antibiotics to eating a grapefruit.If you BF is asking for the pill, he's worried about pregnancy and this is a risk that can't be eliminated only reduced. I would recommend reading up on the effectiveness of different contraceptive methods and telling him you're balancing these against the negative effects the pill might have on you which you hope he can appreciate even though he's not a woman. A condom and spermicide might rest his mind.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): I had a horrible experience with the pill, I would not recommend going on it. I use condoms and I was just fitted for a diaphragm that I am going to start using as well during time periods I could possibly get pregnant. I am a grad student and not at a point where I could handle an unplanned pregnancy so being really cautious is important to me. If his issue is truly that he doesn't think its safe enough (and not just a standard male complaint about condoms) maybe your boyfriend would be open to using both.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 March 2010):
What use is the pill if it's just going to make you ill or have mood swings? Not much use. It could be worth speaking to the doctor to see if they can help.
But please don't fall for the old male excuse about condoms. They're 98% effective, and are the best way to protect against STD's. The best combination would be condoms and the pill. So if you go on the pill, make him use condoms anyway. But don't do something you don't want to.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010): I think this is a highly personal decision. I preferred condoms because they are spontanious and also prevent most STD's. However, they are not fool proof and are subject to poor manufacturing. My daughter (I love her) is proof they don't always work.
After that unplanned pregnancy I tried pills, but for someone as forgetful as me that was hazardous. Plus, the hormones affected me negatively. When you are fat and crazy no one really wants to have sex with you anyway if you get my drift. ;)
I recently tried nuva ring and it has beed successful. It also sort of upped my sex drive instead of suppress it.
In all though, you have to try things out and decide what works for you. There are also less known spermacides, foams, etc.
...............................
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (22 March 2010):
 Tell him that no method of contraception is 100% safe. You're totally right to not want to take the pill.
I don't take it cos it doesn't agree with me at all. Your bf doesn't sound like he knows what he's talking about and wants you to take the pill cos it's less hassle for him.
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (22 March 2010):
 The condom doesnt just stop pregnancy, it also prevents against disease. Pills are also not 100% safe, and can fail. My cousin is living proof of that!
Sadly men use many excuses not to use condoms. A lot of guys dont like them, and will try and use every excuse in the book not to. Plus if anything goes wrong, its your fault for not taking the pill, not his, and he can blame you.
I would say this is something you need to talk to a Doctor about. There is a non-hormonal IUD, made from copper, which should not affect your moods etc.
Condom + Pill/IUD/Patch/Shot/etc etc etc is the safest method. That way if the pill or other method fail, you always have a backup plan.
If you were on the pill would he use a condom as well to protect from STI's and possible failure of the pill. This would give you a much better safety level. Maybe you should as him this, and if he says no, the pill on its own, perhaps consider that this may just be a way of him not having to wear a condom?
I agree with you about not liking the pill. The last one I went on, over a year ago nearly sent me over the edge, and made me into a nurotic mess. I have never felt suicidal in my life, but I now have some inkling as to how people must feel. Even now, my moods and emotional stability is still not back to how it was. I am really going to think twice about going back onto it in the future.
Good luck.
...............................
|
