A
female
age
41-50,
*oves2smile
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We also live together. In the beginning, the sex was great, and he told me I am the best lover he's ever had. However, the past couple of months, the sex has been declining rapidly. I barely get off, and he will last for a couple of mintues. He says he loves me and that he just doesn't have a strong sexual desire. However, he constantly watches porn and pleasures himself. The times we do have sex, he has to take a Cialis (he is only 34). He swears it isn't me ... but why does he need to take a pill to have sex, yet can watch hours of porn?
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female
reader, loves2smile +, writes (24 March 2010):
loves2smile is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHim pleasuring himself has definitely taken a toll. He pretty much can only get off by himself. We barely have sex anymore and a lot of mornings after I leave for work, he watched them. I've told him how upset it makes me feel, and he feels bad. He's gone as far to hide the cable bill that shows all the adult on demand movies he's bought. I've tried hiding our lube, and he turn has been using my face mouisterizer. I've explained to him how whathe does has an effect on me ... and on us.. yet he still resorts to his ways.
Then every now and then, he is like "I'm going to make you very happy tonight." And he takes a pill! And our insurance does not cover Cialis... so essentially it's $20 every time we have a decent sex session....he has no problems getting hard.. he just has a problem getting turned on by anything except pornography!
I want our relationship to work.. any other thoughts/advice?
A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (22 March 2010):
It sounds like he is over-exposed to pornography. He needs to abstain from porn for the time being - at least a few weeks - so that he can concentrate on you and your needs. I guess he is probably emotionally distant to you too? Sounds like he needs to man up and get in control of his desires. I'm very sure he can sort this out, but he has to really want to. It won't always be easy for him when he first stops, but he needs to re-learn how to connect emotionally and physically with a REAL woman.
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