A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! So I became friends with this guy about a year ago, we work in similar types of jobs (not together) and we get on, mostly speaking through mutual friends. He's very different to me, I'm quite a girly girl, and he's quite nerdy, but we have good conversation. He's also 33, I'm 26. He's not my usual type at all. Anyhow, we got on a lot so I gave him my phone number, because he's not on any social media. I didn't do it with any intentions, just as friends because I liked speaking to him, and I wasnt flirty or anything. I invited him along to a night out, and he drunkenly held my hand on the way home, which I let him do. The following week I agreed to 'drinks' ..and I could tell he has absolutely no experience with women, to the point where I wasnt even sure if he had kissed or slept with a girl before, I think he is a virgin.. he very nervously made a move on me, and at the time i thought, he's a very sweet guy and wanted to give him a chance, so i kissed him back. I was open with him that we would just keep things casual and that I wasnt sure what I wanted. I thought he might grow on me, but I felt myself getting more and more annoyed with him. For instance, when we were making out, he had such little experience that he just laid like a dead potatoe on top of me, i would hint for him to please move and he didn't get the hint and just kept laying on top of me, and I couldn't get up until I told him I needed to catch my breath. We didn't sleep together or anything, just made out on his sofa. And when we went for coffee, he stroked my arm for an hour straight and the waitress was starting to give us weird looks, it was cute at first but then it became a bit slimy and my dark was sore. He would also text 24/7, even if he woke in the middle of the night, he would text me to tell me that he had woken up and would try getting back to sleep. I did ask him politely to tone it down with the texts because it was too much, and he told me he did it so I was sure about him liking me, to reassure me, but when I asked him to tone it down, it didn't make any difference. It put me off massively, and that's just a few examples. I think I'm a nice person and I try to be, but I kept cringing at the way he acted. Anyway I called it off, telling him I had made a mistake and didn't want to hurt him or lead him on, but valued our friendship. He has all female friends, so I didnt think it would matter for us to be friends too. He then told me that I couldn't hurt him, and not to worry because he didn't mind either way, as he was happy to just be my friend, etc. He asked if that changed my mind or if I still wanted to call it off, to which I confirmed I just wanted us to be friends. We continued to speak for a few months as friends, he would still text me every day, but nowhere near as often as it had been, whereas previously I knew every meal and drink he had had because of his constant texting. I was happy being his friend, and he was always nice as a friend to me. Anyway, I now have a new boyfriend, and he has stopped speaking to me altogether. I think he might have stopped speaking before I got a boyfriend, so I dont even think the two are linked. Even when i tried saying hello, he seems very off with me. He once text me apologising for being quiet, and for some reason I felt like he was playing a game... he didn't tell me why he had been quiet, but I felt like he wanted me to ask him why he hadn't spoke to me, so I didn't give him the satisfaction. However I did text him yesterday to wish him a happy Easter, he replied but it was very short, and he said he couldn't talk as he was going to sleep, it was only 8pm and I know he stays up late. Should I confront him? I hate feeling like he is mad at me, and I'm honestly not sure why! It's been about 5 months since anything happened between us, and I've only ever been nice to him. I'm a bit angry because he's been friends with me for months now after I called it off, why is he suddenly not wanting to speak to me? Thanks so much for taking the time to read this :)
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 April 2019):
 I don't get your point of trying to be friends with him. You didn't want a relationship, he backed off, you've got a new boyfriend and he's not bothering you. So what really is the problem? Let him go and stop contacting him! Even if he IS mad at you, why do you care? You didn't want a relationship with him and he respected your wishes. I don't think there are any games that he's playing and I think that you're reading too much into his behaviour, although I'm not sure why.
I also don't get something else. Why has this has bothered you enough for you to take the time out to write a long post about it and reach out to strangers on the internet? Is there more to this that you're telling us?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 April 2019):
 Just leave the poor guy be. Block and let go.
Focus on your new relationship and leave that guy alone, you don't NEED him around to stroke your ego, that is your BF's job. And you weren't being a good friend to him either so the whole "we can be friends" is just pure BS and he saw through it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 April 2019):
 Nope, what’s the point?
He very clearly liked you as more than a friend, he thought he had a chance then you shot him down, this hurt him whether he says it did or not, no one likes rejection. He cut down the contact as he wanted what he couldn’t have and he was getting over you in the fashion that he needed to do it in.
You have a BF now, why would you be so concerned about this other guy? If he wanted to speak to you, he would do. Forget about it and move on.
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