A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my OH have been together for almost 10 years and have two children 7 and 5. For the most part, it's been great, obviously ups and down but nothing really major. Sex has always been a bit of a problem with us, it's like we have never really been in sync. Only once, that I can remember really. Right now, we don't really have it at all and when we do, its usually in the morning with me on top and I start it when he is asleep. This is usually around once a week, if that. He has been saying for the last maybe year that he has erectile dysfunction, I found it really hard to understand to begin with. He brought a penis pump and viagra to help, I didn't really say much because, honestly, i didn't know what to say.Now, about after almost a year with knowing this. Things have gotten really... stale(?) He doesn't try anymore and I dont want to come onto him because he may not 'get it up'which is why I start it in the morning when he is asleep (he wakes up obviously, though not for long) as he maintains a hard-on. But when he are done, I feel embarrassed about myself as I'm thinking "is this the only way I can have sex" I found myself being more argumentative with him and pushing him away. I feel awful being like this but I am starting to resent him. He says apart of it down to his weight, he has a bit of a belly and yes, his body is not what it was before, but neither is mine. I dont know if this is just an excuse. When he first told me about this, he says he had always had issues with staying hard but I didn't have a clue for 8 years or so... also he buy viagra but never uses it, if he wanted sex, would he just take it?I dont feel attractive, wanted, needed and all this with the fact I am sick of doing 90% of everything at home and for the kids, I feel unappreciated. I dont know what to do, I cant talk to him because he get defensive. What can I do to make this better?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2019): If he is in the same age group as you then it is far too early for him to exerience ED. No you shouldn't feel embarrassed. You basicly want to feel desirable and loved. Obviously he has a serious health issue here, and I think it is a two folded issue. Physical and psychological. He could be suffering from depression or work related or financial problems. He is obviously out of shape too. He needs a thurough medical check up to elemenate any cardiovascular or prostate deseases, otherwise if ignored it will only get worse. Maybe he doesn't care now but believe me when he is older and his health issues become more chronic and severer and he looks back to the years he wasted deprived of the pleasure and fun of sex he will immensely regret. Try to convince him to see a doctor to get to the root of his problems. Convince him that you want to help because if his problems left untreated it will not affect his sex life only. It will impact his work and health and his entire life. It will limit and restrict all his activities in life. Also you must take good care of your looks too and embrace all the positive atitudes in life and be presistant to be happy. I hope this helps. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2019): Talk to your doctor about a weight loss program and then concentrate on having happy times with the family enjoying days out that include a little walking and exploring.
Take the pressure off yourself.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (23 April 2019):
 It sounds like therapy together may be the only way to get to the root and potentially improve it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2019): I'm 70 and take Viagra and it works terrific. Makers should get the Nobel Piece Prize. The only thing is you have to take it about an hour before. So that morning thing you do won't work out. Since we're retired it is pretty easy to schedule sex. seems like your problem is communication. Some how get to the point were you tell him to take that blue pill, we're going to f*** like college kids in one hour. Maybe a little oral foreplay wouldn't hurt, or even a morning BJ just for the fun of it and foster communication.
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