A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Every present I give to my boyfriend ends up unused in a drawer, and it's really starting to bother me. I wondered if I was just getting presents he didn't really like, so this year for his birthday I got him something I knew he wanted because he'd been talking about it, but that too has now been in the cupboard for 3 months unused.Then there are the things he's said he loves, and that he wants to display in his room or in his car, but then he just chucks them in a drawer and forgets all about them.I tried one more time the other week. He has a car he's really proud of, so I got him some official VW dustcaps for it, but he's not put them on, they've gone into the drawer as well.We went to visit his sister last week, and he was really pleased that she'd displayed a present he'd given her in a really prominent place. I wonder how he'd feel if she just chucked it in a cupboard.I know this sounds a bit dumb, but I really do feel quite hurt that he doesn't seem to like anything I give him. Shall I just tell him how I feel? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bomb2348  +, writes (14 July 2010):
okay i think its a really bad idea to overreact like some people say to do. don't go off on him.one thing you can do is just put your gifts to use FOR him. like hang something up on his shelf instead of waiting for him to do it.you can randomly ask if he's ever thought about putting on the VW dust caps or putting use to any of the other gifts.you can try asking if he wants anything, when it comes time to give gifts like birthdays and stuff.only try to talk about it when none of those tips. otherwise he will think you're overreacting, which would be bad.and please tell me if my tips helped. :)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Yepp. Tell him how you feel. Or better yet, ask him why he puts the in the cupboard, if there is any reasonable excuse for it. Then follow with explaining how it makes you feel. He might just be aloof and unaware.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): Yes! It's possible it has never crossed his mind that you might be hurt, and intends to use the stuff and forgets. Once you say, you will have a better idea by the reaction why he does this.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 July 2010):
I would stop giving him presents. Just stop. Don't pay for anything either.
If you want to confront him with it, be prepared because it'll probably like opening a can of worms. Most likely he'll just jump to his own defence and get crabby, saying that just because you buy him presents you aren't to decide what he does with them.
If this happens, tell him:
"Everything I've given you is unused. I think that's a waste because I can name quite some people who'd be happy to have it. So if you don't like what I've given you, give it back so I can give it to someone who WILL appreciate it."
Then leave it at that and don't spend any more money on him. If he has a brain, he will understand what he did wrong and that this is no way to act. Sounds to me your bf is spoiled and doesn't understand that presents cost money and that there's a lot of time spent in selecting them.
But if there are more things like this about him bothering you, I would consider what this relationship is worth to you.
Good luck!
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