| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for some time and never really had a great sex life with my husband. I think I did not really fancy him enough from the start and probably should not have married. We went without sex for most of our marriage (due to me)and are now seperated (due to me). After this I found someone else, a friend's husband who she is also seperated from. It's getting quite serious. We are see each other secretly so not to upset our ex-partners and this suits us, with less people interferring. I know so much about him from his ex, this bothers me as I have not personally encountered any of the problems she had with him. Apparently he cross dresses and this secret has been known by me, my husband and a couple of other people for some time, but he does not know that anyone knows about it. It is possible that the whole thing is untrue but I know she wouldn't lie about such a big thing, If we were discovered to be seeing each other the whole thing could come out as the ex's could use this as retailiation for what we are doing as it would definatly upset them. Do I warn the guy what I have been told by his ex and who else knows or keep it to myself or do I finish it now before we get in too deep?
View related questions:
friend's husband, his ex, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Hello? His cross dressing is the least of your problems here. Sheesh! you are married and so is he so until both of you get a divorce..hands off. We can address cross dressing issues when you are both free to pursue a relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): Follow up to your adviceThanks for the advice it seems so far that I need to tell him what I have been told. When and how? Is the difficult one but I will probably find the right time at some point soon. As for him being a cross dresser, I'm not sure how to feel about it but knew about it before I embarked on the relationship with him and this would not be a reason for me to split with him - but will soon find out if it's true. The only reason that this could break us up is the emotional trauma this will casued when and if our ex's found out for them and for us. Sometimes I feel that I should just stop it now before it gets to that stage, knowing that what we are doing could hurt a lot of people including ourselves. Any other points of view on the would be greatly appreciated.
...............................
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 this poor guy might or might not be, ide be honest and tell him about it, though i wouldnt mention that a lot of people know about it it may upset him and make him feel ailienated (because he hasnt said anything about it himself to other people).if you truly care for him youll find out whether he is or not because its harsh to dump someone because they have a fetish ( even if it may or may not be a lie) (and you knew about it in the first place)..be honest and upfront with him try to be calm and relaxed about it try and reasure him when you talk about it as it may not of been something he wanted sharing orhaving such a rumour been spread.. hope this helps xxx A
...............................
A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Well if he does cross dress does this affect you in any way? are you wholly adverse to the idea? it could be that she is lying you just dont know how people react under "stress" and lets face it splitting up is a very stressful situation to be in, have a think to yourself, if he is a crossdresser then how would you feel about it? would you be supportive?
If the answer is yes then you will be able to provide support, and therefore ask him in a sympathetic way.
I think that he does need to know that these things have been said about him as it is unfair for him to be in the dark.
...............................
|
