A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm new to dearcupid (friend recommended it) so I'm not really sure how this works, but ok: There's a guy I know from a drama club I go to every week and it started up in September. He's auditioned for shows before and been in some, so I was hoping to meet up with him at some point before an audition (my 1st) that I'm going for at the beginning of February and see if he has any helpful hints. The tricky part is that he's also a party person (so he's either with those types of people or his girlfriend), we get on really well in person but when we aren't at the drama club it's like he forgets about me (he asked do my number a while back but he rarely, if ever, replies), I haven't added him on Facebook because he rarely uses it. He's also afraid of making new PROPER friends (his friends often mistreat him, so his practically given up now). He's a year older than me but I asked if he'd want to go for coffee and just hang out (December) and he sounded up for it, then it's almost like he realised that would mean closer to more of a friendship and backed off. I understand why he does all this, but I don't know how to ask him to go somewhere (for coffee or whatever) and give me some helpful hints for the audition, when I see him next week. I want it to be clear I'm not after a date, just hanging out and having a chat, then talking about the audition and stuff. How do I make that clear so he won't just distance himself again like last time? (he's pretty supportive in person but we don't have time to talk about it before, during or after the drama club.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Oh, in that case, let it drop. Not everyone is cut out to be a mentor. If he's got a massive ego and is distancing himself? I doubt he'd give you any decent advice anyway.
Break a leg!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): Hey, you are not going to get many useful tips from a guy who has rejected your advances and shown little enthusiasm about you. He's already tried to tell you in so many ways your interest is not welcome. On the flip side, your drama teacher would probably love to mentor one of her students on how to succeed at auditions. Go for it!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 January 2012):
I'd ask the drama club to add an 'auditions 101' topic to the meeting schedule; ask the other members who have had auditions for their tips; and definitely get and read the book that CindyCares suggested.
There are two things here: one is that you want more support about your acting career, the other is that you're trying to develop a friendship with this guy. He's signaled pretty clearly that he's not interested in that, so I'd let that drop. Pushing someone for intimacy when they have backed away will make you seem like a bit of a stalker or pest. Let him go to his cave and don't take it personally. He's got his own issues to deal with and his lack of interest doesn't mean you are undateable or anything like that. There are some people who simply won't be a friend or a boyfriend even, for whatever reason. It's not fun when you want something more but that's how it is.
If you feel uncertain and need more help with auditioning, ask other people who have auditioned for help and mention this to the head of the club as well.
And finally, it comes down to this: you will have to experience the audition knowing what you know and that's going to be good enough for the time being. Learn from the audition, listen to the constructive criticism (ask for it if they don't offer) and don't take it personally. You are an aspiring actor, I believe rejection is par for the course! You'll have to learn to take rejection with a grain of salt, learn from it and make your next audition better and improve with time.
Break a leg!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 I would not do it. You've done your part of friendly ouvertures and he has not been very responsive. People are entitled to decide if and when they want new proper friends or not, and you should respect that . The line between being encouraging and being invasive is a thin one and you don't want to cross it ,I guess.
Also.. he may doubt you have ulterior motives... as frankly I do too :).
Why ? Because he is not your only source for audition tips , and at his age and experience maybe he is not even a very reliable one. You could get yourself a copy of " Audition " by Michael Shurtleff, it's a must-read for new actors. You could ask your drama teacher. You could ask me ,lol. Of course it would not be the same as having coffee with a cute guy ( who has a gf, though ).
If you really feel you MUST get audition tips from this guy, send him a text or e-mail or FB message telling him " Hi, I wonder if you can spare 15 minutes to give me some tips for that audition, I'd appreciate your input since you have more acting experience " or something like that, ... and , as a fellow Thespian, he SHOULD say yes, it's a moral imperative :) But keep it simple and business like, let him chose the level of closeness he is comfortable with, don't force it.
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