A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having some guy issues. I'm going out with a guy who I met online and I have been dating him for 4 1/2 years. It didn't occur to me that he would ever lie to me about his age. But it all started when my mom didnt believe me when I told her he was 4 years older than me (I was 16 at the time and he was supposedly 20). So whenever my mom asked to see his license, he would get so sensitive about it. So I decided to ask to see his ID and he wouldnt let me look at it, he would always say that he didnt like his picture. So a couple of years later, he renewed his license and I asked to see his ID again, but he wouldnt let me still! He said the same thing, "I dont like my picture." So thats when i started to sense something was fishy. (By the way, this happened during january this year) So i told him straight up, that if he doesnt show me, I would break up with him. So he apologized and told me he lied after 4 years of going out and that he was actually 5 years older than me. So I asked for proof the next time I saw him (cuz he lives 8 hrs away from me) and he provided me with a permit saying his d.o.b. because he said he tossed his ID out of the car out of frustration. So, he said he had to use his permit until he gets his license from the DMV.I wondered why he would lie if it was just a 1 year difference. So a couple of days ago, I was just bored and I know his password to his email address, so I was just checking it and I noticed an email from a place called "california novelties" and he asked them for a fake ID and he wanted it to be shipped over night. I looked at the date he sent it and it was right after I found out he lied about his age. So, I knew that he must be lying about his age again and hes not 5 years older than me if he wants to purchase a fake ID. So I confronted him about it and he then said he was sorry and hes actually 7 years older than me!I feel so cheated and stupid. We've been together for so long and hes my best friend, my only friend. We do everything together and he hurt my feelings soo bad. His excuse for lying to me is that he was afraid I was too old for him and I would never like him and date him. I dont think I could ever see him the same way I did before. I dont see him as the same guy I fell in love with. All I see is an old pervert who lied to me about his age to get with me. I dont even know if hes telling me the real truth about his age because he keeps saying he never received his license yet from the DMV and its been 2 1/2 months now. How long does it even take for the DMV to send you your license? So I guess what I really wanted to know was if anyone thinks I should give him another chance or what I should do about this situation because I really dont know what to do. By the way, while I was looking at his email, I saw emails from porn sites!! and that is disgusting and he keeps saying he doesnt know where its coming from and I dont believe him. He just disgusts me so much.
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female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 I dated a guy a few years ago who used to lie about his age. One minute he would be 35 the next 33, I mean what is the big deal with these guy about age. The fact your bf constantly lies about his age and refuses to let you see his ID seems a bit strange. I guess the reason why he won't tell you his real age is because he is maybe embarrassed and that you would never gave him a second glanced if you found when you first met him.
My advise is finish with him or you will never be able to trust him.
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (12 April 2008):
 It sound to me like he saw you and did what he thought it would take to meet you and it went further.
What would your reaction have been if you knew his true age at the time you first met him?
I think he took such a fancy to you that he didn't want to take the chance of blowing things right out of the gate.
And if you have been with him that long you must certainly have feelings for him.
Also, the way things are with most people now days that transgression is a realatively small one.
I would say give him another chance but make it clear to him that there can be no further deception such as this.
Food for thought, my Father and Mother were eight years apart and were married for 47 years. They would still be married had we not lost my father in 2002.
Another case in point to the extreme, I met a young lady, age 22 years, once who was surrounded by several children. We were have a quite pleasant conversation when she told me that the children were all her grandchildren.
When she was done having fun at my dismay she told me they were actually her step grandchildren and that her husband was forty something. (I don't remember exactly)
However, after several years the last I saw them they were still happily married.
My point is, age should not be a problem if you really care for someone and having been with him that long I think you do. Doc
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): My grandad lied to my nan about his age, she was 17 and he was 28! Anyway, my nan said she would never have dated him if she knew his real age but by the time she knew, it was too late. Point is, their been together for fourty years now! But if you feel you can't get over it then leave, it sounds a bit fishy he still won't show you REAL ID. I would wait till you get prove, if he still lieing about his age then ditch him as then he's just a compuslive liar.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (12 April 2008):
 You know the answer. You should not ever be with someone who disgusts you. I really don't like the fact that he lied to you either, there isnt an excuse for it. Lying for 4 years about his age?? One of the worst things you can lie about. I don't know how you would go about trusting him with anything else when he lies about something so huge for so long. Let him go, immediately.
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A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Yucko. I often get a creepy feeling when I see younger teenage girls with guys who are in their mid-twenties. Really, a respectable guy would usually not go out with a really young girl. Not sure why, but it's just against their sensibilities. But yucky guys do this all the time, because older women would see through their shit in an instant.
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