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anonymous
writes: I was talking to this guy who I liked very much. We were not dating yet, even though it felt like it. I thought everything was going fine until he stopped talking to me. Finally I got him to tell me what was wrong, and he said he didnt want a relationship anymore and that he would be busy through the summer and didnt think it would work out. He still wanted to be friends and even sais he might call me once in a while. He hasn't called me and acts almost as if he is scared of me. But I just don't understand how he could like me one day and not the next. He even kissed me(which was a very big step for both of us). I keep thinking about him and still really like him. What should I do?
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reader, schlottjl  +, writes (20 June 2005):
 Do not contact him and fill your time doing as much as possible until the pain subsides. He only told you he might want to be friends because he was looking for the easy way out.
You seem totally smitten and that must scare him. You said that you were not dating yet. Say to yourself, we never dated at all. Yet implies you are holding out hope. For your own sake, don't hope anymore. Boys can do many things that girls cannot do. Become physical in any way is one thing boys can do with absolutely no feelings for the girl. Girls are more evolved shall we say?
You cannot make him like you no matter what you do. Think of the guy that disgusts you. Is there anything he can do to change your mind? Assume you disgust him if you have to to remind yourself to stay away.
Finally, remember that the meaning of relationship according to my dictionary** is:
1. connection: a significant connection or similarity between two or more things, or the state of being related to something else
2. Behavior or feelings toward somebody else: the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with one another, especially as regards the way they behave toward and feel about one another
he said he wanted no relationship with you. That is why he is not calling. Please believe him and set yourself free. We all get this from time to time. Don't worry, you will appreciate this when you find the guy that is for you.
**see the entire definition at the following link:
http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/relationship.html
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (20 June 2005):
 I think that when he said that he did not want a relationship with you, he meant it! sometimes after going out with someone for a lil while, they seem to loose travk of communication with you. between most people, they think that if they cant be going out, then they dont want any part in you. if they look at you, that makes them realize that they once loved you and they do not want to continue loving you. Its either you love me or you stay out of my life, basically. i hate to say this, but when he didnt call you after being in a rlationship with you, then you need to take the hint and realize that he does not want to see you. even as a friend. i know that it is nerve-racting, and upseting, but you must respect his decision. good luck ~Robin~ aka advice gurl
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (20 June 2005):
If you want a relationship with this man, but he acts like he does NOT want a relationship with you...what message do you think he's trying to give you? If he says he's going to call, but he doesn't call, what message do you think he's trying to give you?If a man is REALLY INTO a woman, he will go out of his way to be with her, call her & make her feel special & adored.He will romance her, make special plans for dinners out, buy flowers and think of lovely creative surprises.If he is doing NONE of these things, he's NOT INTO YOU.People will be dishonest or give mixed messages because they don't want to hurt your feelings, so read between the lines and be honest with yourself...it's time to move on.There is a fantastic man out there who is ACHING for a beautiful soul like you to bring joy & laughter to his life.Don't waste your precious time on guys who don't deserve you.
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