A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend just got a new house. He wants to go shopping to get stuff for the house, but i see no point in helping him out. He bought this house without even talking to me about it. I feel so hurt that he doesn't understand why I don't want to do anything to help him out with the new place. I feel like he made this move and he doesn't care about me or anything I want. I need advice on what I should do, should I support this decision he made about the house or just move on? I really don't know what to do anymore. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 July 2011):
 I agree with CindyCares.
IF you were not dating a long time then it's not a faux pas. However if you guys were seriously involved and long term, then he should have discussed it with you....
but you need to talk to him about it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 I guess it depends from how long you have been together and how serious this relationship is.
If it's a new thing and you have only been dating a few months, no, you should not expect he'd consult you or inolve you, just give him a hand to decorate same as you'd do with any of your friends asking you the same.
Ditto if the relationship is not as new ,but not at the stage where you have talked, at least in general, about the possibility of a future together .
If instead, living together or getting married , even if just as a future possibility, has been debated, yes, it's normal that you are miffed and disappointed. But in this case : don't sulk and don't act passive aggressive. Tell honestly why you are disappointed, anf why you feelhe should have involved you in this purchase. Men can be rather clueless at times- he may not have even thought that this is rather a big deal for you.
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