A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,Thanks for taking the time to read my postI'm going to keep it short I've been with my partner 10 years I'm 27 hes 28 we've had a very happy time together no real drama or anything we have always been great together I cant imagine anyone in the world could make me happier.Were not married yet but were going to Fiji next year and we can't wait. My issue is its his grandmothers birthday next month and he didn't invite me its a huge family event shes having the whole family there and my fiance didn't invite me. I get on so well with his family I found out through his brother. When I asked him why he didn't invite me he said oh you can come if you want n thought nothing of it. I didn't get upset I just said I'll come if you want me there.My problem is and I'm upset that we should be serious all his cousins will have there partners there why is it not his thought to invite me I think of him as family and will always invite him to functions. Sometimes I wonder if he even takes us seriously like is our relationship still stuck in this weird bridge between adult and teenage. There are other small things that make me feel this way but I don't want to write too much for you to read. My question is am I being crazy or should I bring up how it made me feel.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 May 2017):
 Honestly it doesn't sound like he didn't want you their, it sounds like when he got invited he thought cool and then never gave it a second thought. Are you sure their is nothing else bothering you in the relationship?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 May 2017):
 I this something he has done before? Sort of forgotten to "invite" you to family things?
It CAN be that whoever asked HIM to come didn't specify "bring your GF" so he didn't think about it. He might not be very detail oriented or very considerate in general. Again, it's hard to tell.
You two have been together for a long time - considering your age, doesn't mean it can't last but people GROW and MATURE at different rates or speeds. Just because he is a year older doesn't mean he is more mature or have better manners.
I don't think you should hold it in but I think you should explain how it made you feel in a GENTLE way. Maybe he NEEDS to hear from you what YOUR expectations are when it comes to certain things.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (20 May 2017):
Ask him f you're invited. He will look at you as if you are nuts and say something like "Of course you're invited, why would you ask such a crazy question?"
I'm curious as to what other things he does that bother you. And is this invitation thing part of a pattern.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 May 2017):
 Did he just take it for granted you would be going with him? Some people take an awful lot for granted, especially when they have been in a relationship for a long time.
Thing is, this has upset you so you NEED to sit down and talk to him about it, otherwise it will eat away at you.
I hope he puts your mind at rest.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2017): I think the fact that your boyfriend forgot to invite you is what is bothering you.
It would bother me as well. I imagine it makes you feel unimportant and not considered. If I had been with someone that long and a big family do was coming up and he didn't mention it to me, I would feel as if he didn't care whether I was there or not. That would lead me to thinking why not? If you are a couple then it's normal to have each other to your family events.
It's difficult to say more without knowing what else he does that makes you feel as if he doesn't take this relationship seriously. Would you care to elaborate?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 May 2017):
 He just forgot to invite you. No hidden agenda.
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