A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey so I met this great guy just about a year ago at a summer music intensive. We got along well and I found him extremely attractive. A lot of us exchanged numbers at the end of the camp so it wasn't very meaningful that I ended up with his phone number but I decided to try to keep up the friendship with the hopes of it turning into something more perhaps. We texted for about a month, he was very friendly but seemed to keep his distance...by that I mean he just treated me as more of a friend, seemed to really trust me/was opening up about stuff but was not really flirty. Anyhow, about a month into the school year he started talking about this girl a lot. I had been mildly flirty at times, not crazy but very subtle, and after a few conversations about this girl I started to wonder if he was trying to equally subtly tell me to back off. As I was almost always the one texting first at that point I decided to stop doing that and let him come to me if he wanted to talk to me...and did not hear from him again.until a couple weeks ago, when out of the blue he texted me like hey how are you I'm so sorry it's been so long etc. We talked for about two hours and then before going to bed he promised to be in touch more frequently. It was so easy talking to him and so much fun to reconnect. I'm glad that it looks like we can still be friends; I thought it would be another one of those things where you go to summer camp, meet cool people, promise to keep in touch, and then never do. Thing is, I just can't figure out, why now???We lived in the same city last year. Now we're both leaving for college and will be 6 hours away from each other. I can tell from his facebook that the girl he was talking about and him never went anywhere, he has a LOT of lady friends and is extremely attractive so I'm sure there have been little things here and there but basically I've ruled out the possibility of this being a rebound thing so I don't know why he reappeared a year later?!!! Guys are so weird! At this point I don't even care whether he wants friendship or more, I just want some insight as to what's going on in his head!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2013): WiseOwlE - thanks so much for your thoughtful response. Everything you say makes sense and I appreciate what you said about my being smart too haha I like to think of myself as a pretty reasonable person! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): You're smart, and a pretty cool young lady. You made a lasting impression on that young man. I read your post and you are very wise beyond your years.
You handled the whole thing very well. You didn't come off as needy, you didn't push things beyond where you felt comfortable, and you went about your life without obsessing over him. You are a very well-adjusted young woman.
He never forgot how much you shared together. You may have initiated the text messages previously; but he obviously appreciated your confidence and friendship. He may have had a crush on someone else; but it took him time to get over it.
He is young and attractive; and as boys go, he may not have been ready for anything serious. He likes being with girls, but hasn't chosen one to be a girlfriend yet. That's a plus in his favor as a young man. Enjoy life and being young.
Just let him be the one to initiate the messages and show you where he's coming from. Oh, that doesn't mean you have to sit and wait, just see how frequently he will try to get in touch. There is some distance between you, so that may pose a little difficulty. At least you'll have some idea if it's platonic, or he has a romantic interest. You gave him a little more time to grow up. Now lets see what comes of it.
I think a platonic relationship will withstand the distance better than anything else. You are a smart girl, and I think you already know that. I urge you to keep in touch with him regardless of his intentions, where romance is concerned. Time will only tell.
Don't ruin your freshman year trying to concentrate on a LDR with a guy, and your studies. There are a lot of emotional adjustments to make; and sometimes you may neglect each other. That could cause a rift in any type of relationship you may have.
That may pose too much of a strain. One thing you do already have established. He really likes you. He never lost your number. That's so cool!
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A
female
reader, Honey Sweet  +, writes (26 August 2013):
 This could mean a few differnt things... xxx
Hes just reaised hes made a mistake and now hes coming back, He just wants sex or maybe hes just changed x
but overall its banging out of order that it took him so long to contact you if its one of the good signs xx you have every right not to feel good about it!
still
ignore him and if he keeps bugging you and bugging you ask him why and ask him to be brutaly honest xxx
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