| A
female
age
51-59,
*iselle
writes: my boyfriend is going through a very messy divorce,his ex wife went crazy and attacked him and his daughter, she has been diagnosed with personality disorder. he really stresses and says really horrible things and compares me to his ex wife and always threatens to throw me out of his house,where should i stand? I feel he is only using me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (16 December 2006):
 Hiya
This seem like a bit of a messy situation. He's obviously still feeling bitter about how his marriage had ended. It is not fair for him to take this out on you.
It is also not fair for you to be compared to somebody that has a violent personality dis-order... It will eat away at your own confidence if it carried on. He is still bitter about his relationship with his wife and whether he knows it or not he's pratically bullying you and taking it out on you. I bet you feel as though it can be excused cause he was attacked after all.... he is going through a difficult time after all...... But love he cannot start reacting this bitterness to you... It's very destructive and now that it's started it may just get worse.
I think that you need to leave him because he doesn't seem to be in the right 'space' for a relationship. He needs to deal with these issues that he has... I don't think things have a hope in hell of changing between you two until he has had the chance to deal with his own feelings and bitterness and I don't think he can do this whilst he is in a relationship.
So I would say for you to move away from this relationship now.... Not necesserly for good... But he needs time to get over his marriage and to deal with the problems that have arison from it... Once he is back in the right frame of mind and is at the stage where he will no longer take it out on the wrong person... Maybe then you can see what your relationship prospects will be like.
Regards
Sexybum x x
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