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female
age
36-40,
*ovely18
writes: My boyfriend wants to have anal sex, but when ever he even buts his fingers up my anus it really hurts and i do not enjoy it because it hurts me, so im just nervous about when it actually comes to having anal sex because i just know that its going to hurt more then loosing my virginity!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): I had the same problem, my boyfriend wanted anal. The thought of it scares me, it hurts even if he tries to put his fingers up there. I told him recently that I didn't want to have anal, ever. He's accepted it and it is a HUGE weight of my shoulders. I kept thinking for some reason that if I told him I didn't want it then he'd love me less. Which is silly. Tell him how you feel, you'll feel better afterwords. :)
A
male
reader, Bourne +, writes (19 December 2006):
 There is nothing wrong with anal sex. It is another form of intimacy which, between two consenting and loving people, can be very pleasurable.
Sounds like this is a technique problem. Don't do anal sex until you are comfortable and enjoy his fingers. I'm guessing his willie is bigger than his fingers, so theres no use trying that until you get to enjoy fingers first.
Ask him to really turn you on first. Oral sex seems to do it for my wife. When she's really turned on then I can start to use my fingers on her anus and finally we can have anal sex. We use lots of lube and I enter very slowly. She tells me when to stop, keep going or speed up. Anal sex requires a lot of communication and trust.
There is nothing wrong with anal sex. There is no long-term problems or medical conditions that will result from anal sex. My wife and I have been enjoying it for years and no damage as of yet. You may experience a little pain at first and the muscles around the anus may be sore for the next few hours or days. As you do this more often it will get used to it and it will be more enjoyable. Just take your time and go slow. My wife has some of her best orgasms while we do anal sex so its really worth it to try and do it right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2006): Why do you feel you 'have' to do this, just because he wants you to. Tell him your feelings and say that it scares you and you want to opt out. You wouldn't be doing anything wrong, dear. Good Lord, express yourself, communicate...never be afraid to stand up for yourself. Sex with the bf, is not just about 'all' him. It's an equally, mutual time of pleasuring each other. He should be just as concerned for your feelings and good, decent guy will put your feelings about this above his own. Especially if you are experiencing some fearfulness over trying anal sex. Anal sex is not for everyone and not everyone wants to do it. If you tell him NO and he pouts and acts adversely to you, then you may have reassess and question if he does love you?? Reacting badly to you saying NO should tell you, that he needs to grow up and get his hurt ego in check and realize this type of pettiness has no part in a relationship with a loved one. So, tell him you are scared of this...and see how he reacts. His response may tell you the real truth about his true character. good luck, hun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2006): if u dont want to do it then dont do it. if ur curious then use lube and have him take it slow. its going to hurt no matter what u do.
oh and just think. anal sex is not good for the bowels, it breaks down the thin and very sensitive walls that can cause future problems.
so if u decide to do, be safe and make sure he wears a condom and try not to have anal sex a lot.
take it at ur own pace and it will get easier and less painful over time
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2006): anal sex, it is unnatural really, if you have to do it, then use plenty of lube. in order for it to hurt less you have to be relaxed, build up to it. im not going to lie it will still hurt, when i did it with my partner, it hurt her alot, thus we never did it again. however from what i have herd from friends it takes quie a few times before it starts to stop hurting. your anus has a muscle that is designed to keep things from going in and out controlably, anal sex is very much uncontrolable, and penis' are very much unlike excrement.
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