A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I know this sounds a bit stupid but yesterday was our year and ten months anniversarie but he kept telling me last week that he was gonna surprise me wit breaking Dawn tickets and so I was just thinking it comes out Friday it's our day Friday maybe hel do that then he said he was goin out wit the lads in his class Friday so I was like ok he knows thats our day so maybe he's plannin to surprise me or suim but eh no he planned nothin of the sort and went out with his mates on our anniversaire? he has done some pretty hurtful stuff in the past but this is the worst :( ive never felt so hurt by him. I really think its time to call it a day. It may seem from that im upset cos i didnt get to see b/d but its the fact he chose all his new college friends over me, on a day that was meant to be about us. Do you think im over reacting? I m just sick of the constant heart ache and being let down.
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (20 November 2011):
To be honest, I don't see how 1 year and 10 months is something worthy of celebrating; to me the real milestone would be at two years. So how many of these anniversaries have there been over the course of 1 year and ten months? If there were many, I'd get why he wasn't enthusiastic about celebrating. In fact, these milestones may have become a big irritation instead of something nice.
That said he did break his promise about the BD tickets and he gave you the wrong impression about how that day would be spent. I would tell him that next time, when he makes a promise he doesn't intend to keep, to just not bother.
Also, you talk about previous disappointments. Can you specify?
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 November 2011):
 I would be more annoyed about the Dawn tickets. I think he let you down over those tickets.
If he allowed money in the budget for those tickets and then spent it out with his college friends then I suggest on Monday that you treat yourself to a good quality perfume. Charge it up and tell him it's his preent to you for not getting the Dawn tickets. because he should have explained himself over the Dawn tickets. if you want any suggestions for perfume I can recommend Organza , L'air du Temps and Chanel no 5 (the last one is too expensive for me unless on special). With Christmas coming up there are often some great perfume specials.
You may as well turn a disappointing situation into a positive.
but One year and ten months? That's a tough ask to expect him to be that sentimental about that as an anniversary. The two year anniverary is different. AND worse still that he promised the Dawn tickets.
Involve your guy and start planning your two year anniversary together now. You have two months to decide where, And what form your celebration will take. Discuss it together as equal partners. Start looking out for "the" outfit to wear for your 2 year anniversary. This seems a more pivotal date to me.
And relationships need nurturing from time to time, maybe he does not realise this?
But I think it is an over-reaction to throw in the towel over him spending time with his friends. Yes it was thoughtless. It means working on him and encouraging him so that spending time with you is far more rewarding than spending time with his friends.
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A
female
reader, audie  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Honey u are overeacting. My husband spent our first wedding anniversary with his mother... Imagine that. I spent the day at home, alone crying my eyes out. And he only came home with an "I'm sorry but mom needed my help and i lost track of time." no card, no flowers nothing. Now thats something to be mad about. Anyway hes terrific every other day so i've forgiven him. U should too unless there's more to this than you telling us.
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 1 year 10 months is not really an anniversary. It isn't really is it? Give him a bit of slack and ease off. Better to have fun on the 2 year anniversary. ;)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Yes, you were overreacting. It's not an anniversary, it's a milestone.. No need for drama.
However, if he PROMISED to get tickets for a movie on said date and broke the date to hang out with friends I'd be a little ticked.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Men can barely remember their wedding anniversaries and that's usually after we've marked it on the calendar with a big red circle. Any so-called anniversaries before they've walked down the isle with you is just not as significant to them as they are to us. So don't make a big deal of it. 1 year and 10 months. Do you also celebrate your 1 year and 5 months anniversary?...6 month anniversary?....7 month anniversary? You may be going a bit overboard with the whole anniversary thing. Let him have his fun. And if you want him to remember any special anniversaries pick the ones that fall annually. It's like those new mothers that keep telling you their kid is 28-and-a-half months old. For God's sake, just say the kid is two and be done with it. You get the picture. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): Yes you are over-reacting. 1 yr and 10 month anniversary, really. It's not an anniversary, they are yearly. It's no big deal really, I think you need to stop counting months and actually focus on the relationship as a whole. It will be more special celebrating it yearly.
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A
female
reader, youngmum89 +, writes (19 November 2011):
 omg are you really been seriously its only 1 year and 10 months men always forget little things like this i would probably understand if it was your 1st or 2nd anniversary but come on now
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2011):
 yes you are over reacting... 1 year AND TEN MONTHS.. BFD hon BFD...
2 years I can see... but still counting MONTHS?? come on...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): Yes, you are over reacting and if this is truly the worst thing he has done to you then I think your relationship is probably pretty good because most people fight about more significant things.For what it's worth, an anniversary or perhaps even an "anniversaire" etymologically comes from the Latin word "anni" for year. It is something that happens every year, not every month. Do you celebrate your half birthday? Probably not. You probably don't need to blow out candles twice a year to appreciate the fact that you're still breathing. I think the same thing goes for a relationship...I recommend letting him have time with his friends and perhaps find some of your own friends or hobbies to entertain yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): My boyfriend forgot our first anniversary! I reminded and reminded him and yet he did nothing, don't sweat it! Men are rubbish with this kind of thing they don't realise how much it means to us. Try not to worry and make sure you fill your free time too so you're not counting down to every month anniversay
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (19 November 2011):
 Do you celebrate every month your anniversary? I'm not sure what the significance of 1 year and 10 months is. I would have thought ok, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, etc. ... but 10 months seems a bit over the top. If you celebrate every month, it won't be as special, and he will start treating it as unimportant (and, eg, going out with his friends).I think you should stick to once a year, and stop getting upset over nothing. If you really want to finish with him because he spent some time with his friends on a day that isn't even a real anniversary then ... I think you don't care that much about him.
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