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female
age
30-35,
*ollywoodbeauty
writes: my problem is quite complex. i have been with my boyfriend since i was 14, we basically grew up together ans are not just a couple we are best friends too. but recently he found out that i cheated a few times a while back when we were goin through a rough patch. he is absolutely devastated and says he has lost all his love for me and trust. we are giving our relationship another try. what can i do to reassure him that i will never do it again?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): how come all women say they love him, when theyve just cheated on him?
you say hes just found out, presumably that means it wasnt you that told him? which would just enhance hes feeling that he cant trust you. as for cheating a few time while you were having a ''difficult patch''..that sounds like your trying to excuse your cheating. if its a drunken one night stand it can be forgiven, but to cheat multiple times just cant. he has every right to feel he cant trust you and without trust theres no love.
unless your willing to put in the years and faithfull commitment i doubt his trust will ever come back, and even then theres still going to be doubt
A
male
reader, AbitUpset +, writes (28 December 2006):
From a males point of view - Yes, it is hard to gain that trust once again - and even if you two do stay together for a more deeper relationship that day he found out about you cheating on him will always remain with him. Stay focused on him - reassure him that he and only he means the world to you (if he indeed does) - if you have doubts that you yourself can not stay away from other temptations than maybe you need to move on separetly. Better to be true to yourself now then have the relationship turn into marriage and the doubts come back.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, mjmoonwalker89 +, writes (24 December 2006):
 being in the receiving end of cheating, your bf wont trust a word you say. like sweetiegirl just said, it has to come with time but if you want to stay with him dont put yourself into situations where he'll wonder whether you'll do it again. be completely 100% honest with him all the time. show him he's the only person you want and you dont need to look anywhere else. ask him how he feels beyond the lack of trust and love, knowing how each other feel might help. good luck. hope it works well for you
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A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (23 December 2006):
 it's really hard to tell your man that you won't do it again he has lost trust in you, he won't really believe alot of what you tell him and when you say a few how many do you mean once is forgiveable, twice might take some time to mend up the trust, and more then that you need to rethink the relationship, there is no way to get him get back that trust by just telling him that you won't cheat anymore, you need to earn an keep that trust, and if you truly love him then you won't have a problem gaining that trust level you need and keeping it. Good luck hunny i was in the same boat and it took me along time to gain it back. but i realized that I loved him and i didn't need to look anywhere else, and that was four years ago and we are still together today.
hope that helps
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