A
female
age
41-50,
*onya2
writes:hi i been wid my partner from last 5 years. Several times he has cheated on me, but i love him more than anything . is this just stupid love? evrytime he gets caught he promises me neva again. this has been ongoing. i have considered leaving him for gud. it s v hard. feels like there s not gonna any life without him. wat shall i do? wil he ever b mine
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): You are satisfied with the situation the way it is. That's all there is to it.Every time he cheats, it has the effect of testing you whether either of you think about it this way or not. And every time, you are proving that you would rather stay in a relationship with him while he still cheats than break up with him over it.So you are choosing this pattern. It's that simple. It doesn't matter what you say or even what you think to yourself. It only matters what you DO about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Leave him and you will find somebody else. But saying that it's easy for me to say it as I am not in your situation and you probably need to realise yourself that your worth more than him.It's easy for lots of opinions but you do need to realise for yourself as people do get blinded by love. I loved my boyfriend so much I defended him when he abused me physically and emotionally and for some stupid reason I still thought he was perfect. We're still together as things did get better, but not completely.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I also agree with everyone here... Leave him and never look back. You deserve someone who doesn't treat you like this.
Perhaps if he had cheated once then he may have realised the error of his ways and you could give him a second chance. However, cheating again and again and again I think it best you move on and find someone else.
Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Leave him!! He says he will never do it again and off he goes to do it again because he knows you love him! He is using you he is having his cake and eating it and your letting him you deserve someone so much better then this you deserve someone who is with you and only you who will treat you with respect and love. Not someone who messes around behind your back letting himself get caught and knowing that you will forgive him, some people dont change some people dont know how to be faithful, i know its gonnna be hard 5 years is along time but your strong enough to know that this isnt right and know that maybe its for the best to leave him so do it before he breaks your heart again.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I agree with everyone on this one. Leave the snivelling cheat and get a guy who is exclusive to you. Dusky xxx.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I'm not worried about him and if he quits and becomes yours. I'm worried about you and the way you're "allowing" him to treat you. When are you going to stop allowing him to treat you this way, not to mention completely disrespecting your relationship?
I don't know you. We've never met, but I can tell you, you deserve better than what this guy is giving you.
Do you recognize that there are some people in this world that just really don't care? They want and take what they want no matter who gets hurt or have to walk over to get it? I think in your case, it's time to move on. I also think he's saying sorry and that he won't do it again to please you, which does't mean he is sincere in saying it, or planning on not doing it again. You should leave, not because you don't love him. I'm not saying at all that you don't, but because you respect yourself and won't put up with this cheating behavior.
Have you ever heard this saying? It's so true. "The definition of insanity is, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
I don't think this guy is someone who's relationship ready. It's not you and you can't force it on him, when he's not ready to embrase you and the relationship.
I hope this helps, take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): leave him now it will be hard but its harder it you stay with him you are only demeaning yourself and making yourself out to be less than you are by being with this creep.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (11 February 2008):
 He will not stop doing what he does, so he will never od what he says. And there really isnt anything you can do about it except walk away. Its possible he will stop his ways eventually but i cant garuntee that and it wont be because of you. And dont be afraid to leave someone who treats you badly, life will go on even if you dont think it will if you leave him. I fealt the same way about my ex and then i got out and i fealt a lot better afterwards. And i would of never expected it. And there is someone else out there that will make you happier then your current boyfriend ever will.
Good Luck making the right decision!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): He continues doing it because YOU keep taking him back, in taking him back you are excusing what he is doing to you. Don't get me wrong - he is at fault here, but you are allowing yourself to be treated like that.
I guarantee the other side is better.
How can you still like him as a person when he so clearly has no respect for you? How can you still like yourself as a person when you clearly have so little respect for yourself.
This is not how it is supposed to be and you shouldn't put up with it.
I'm sorry if this is all very harsh, I'm just telling you things you should be telling yourself!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Sorry hun...
I know you love him soooooo much, and it's so hard to leave him. But honestly I think it'd be for the best. He just keeps hurting you, and you don't deserve it. The pain of leaving him may feel unbearable and endless... but with time you'll get over him and move on, possibly finding someone new who'll give you so much more joys than tears.
Good luck :)
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