A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok guys your all going to prob hate me for this but, m sleeping with my ex boy friend and he has a new girl who is 13 weeks pregnent, the thing is when we have done things i dont even have the ounce of guilt over doing it and to be honest i dont think he does either, It all started when he said he wanted to do things to me but i didnt think he would do anything untill we took my mate home first then he touched my boob then one thing led to the other, since then we seem to do it everyweek,the other thing is his gf has since moved back home with her mum, there still going out but apparently she was very hormonal and not happy but im sure theres more to it then thati now i should feel really quilty but i really dont as i still do like him and we do still get on as friendsplease dont hate me i no im doing the wrong thing i would just like some advice on this as it does take to people to do this
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female
reader, jjgrisco  +, writes (18 November 2015):
hello, you're not alone. I am currently doing the exact same thing. I met him and he got my number from one of his friends. he started off flirtatious and adorable, he was a cute guy too. he was so kind to me, and respected me so much; one day he told me he had a girlfriend. for two years now. I immediately apologized saying "oh my gosh im sorry I wasn't trying to flirt with you!" he laughed it off and said "no you're fine!!" we continued talking, everytime we saw eachother we both couldn't stop staring and smiling. we were crazy about eachother, texted all the time and he still flirted. so I let myself fall a little, being selfish I tossed aside the impact of a preganncy on a couple and started flirting back. and one day he asked to hangout, I said yes. sitting on the couch together we talked here and there during a dumb tv show and found ourselves cuddling. he felt so warm and gentle, his touch was electic every time it was on my hands arms and face caressing me, driving me wild. then we kissed, things escalated and we had sex. how selfish of me to consider myself better than the bond of true love shared within a family. we continued having sex and he told me everyday how crazy he is about me how beautiful I am and how much he wants a future with me. but hes said he loves her. how could he? anyways he asked to meet my parents and I let him, I was falling for him. he was Falling for me. my parents love him and he's basiclaly my boyfriend, he now wants me to meet his parents..? but anyways she is pregnant and due very very soon but he tells me he wants to be with me in the future and doesn't want to have to let me go when the baby comes. but I know as soon as he sees that babys precious face, I'll loose him. so the best thing is, let go. I don't want to and I bet you don't either but we'll find something else than this horrible thing. give him to her, she needs him. hang in there.
A
female
reader, AngellicaWaters +, writes (16 July 2009):
 You may not feel guilty for what you are doing, but you do know it's morally wrong. That is a start. For most people having a relationship, sexual or otherwise has some point or fulfills something in their life that they need. What does this relationship fulfill for you? Do you just want casual sex or do you want someone to love you and care for you?
If you want casual sex, you are certainly getting it, but you could do so with any number of single men out there, who you may like just as much as you like this man. And the good thing about them is that they don't have a pregnant girlfriend and even though you don't feel guilty now, you are harming someone else indirectly with your actions.
This isn't helping you in life and it won't make you a better person. At some point in your life this may be a decision you do regret, because inevitably you will experience negative or positive consequences for every decision you make in life, both good and bad. The better positive and good decisions you make, the better life is going to be for you.
With that being covered, if you are looking for a relationship and for someone to really value you, this isn't the way to get that. This man is a vending machine prize. For a quarter anyone could get him and you, in essence, got what you paid for.
The more value you place on yourself, the more value men will place on you and the more love and respect you will get. To get a man that is actually a valuable prize you need to always have high expectations when looking for a man. You need to not base the relationship on sex to do this.
Let a man find out who you are and love you for your heart and mind before he loves you for your body. Any man will love you for your body, for the 10 minutes it takes for the sex to be over with. After that you don't get any value and they are not willing to give you any.
You are not a bad person, you are just making unwise and hurtful decisions. You are not just hurting his pregnant girlfriend, but yourself too. You could have so much more in life than this, you could have a LOT more, but you are basically settling for a vending machine prize. This is something you can change, if you want to. The question is do you think you are valuable enough to do so? I would think so. :-)
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A
female
reader, mawm +, writes (16 July 2009):
You probably feel that you have a bit of a right to him since you were together once; maybe you feel that you know him better than she does and that you have a better connection to him than she does. That makes it easy to block her out as unimportant and not feel guilty about it After all, you and he have this long intimate history. Wait, tho.
ARE YOU F----G CRAZY? This man is willing to fondle you and f--k you while his real girlfriend is carrying his child. He's going to be be responsible for the baby and he's responsible for helping her through the pregnancy.
What's in it for you, girl? That guy is going nowhere but into the maternity ward. He's using you.
You can do better than that for yourself; your own loving man. Never be with a guy unless he adores you; waiting alone for that isn't so bad. Honest
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): well he sounds like a piece of trash doing that to his pregnant girlfriend, and you my dear need to get some self respect/ respect for others/ morals. maybe you are both suited though, dirt attracts dirt.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): HOW DARE YOU?! You don't feel guilty for taking time away from a woman who needs this man more than you do right now? That is just wrong. If you were at home pregnant and the father was out messing around, you wouldn't like it would you? I dont feel that you and this guy are going to last long anyway. He may mature and realize that he now has a family that needs him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): Just two immature self centered souls bumping dirties in the day.....what a heart warming story. Who cares about the pregnant girlfriend, she's on her own anyway, right?
The guy is a scumbag but if that is what gets you off you are beyond advice. What do you want from us? Congratulations? Approval? Acknowledgement that there are a lot of self serving, self centered, stupid people in the world? You know the answer to that.
Just remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So you like him. Why? What he is doing to her he is doing to you?
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 So, What? You want a round of applause for fucking up a family to be? People who thrive on drama are usually VERY insecure. Check yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): You already have made up your mind on what you want to do. Advice is not what is needed here. Know that most people would flame you for your deeds. Therefore, since having this knowledge, you will continue with what you want to do, regardless of what anyone says.
Considering that, I cannot grasp what it is you're asking. Approval or to show the world you are freely doing this regardless of how others feel?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): i despise cheaters and i believe in karma.... i dont need to say anymore.
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