A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fience of almost 8 yrs cheated w/ my now ex best friend. She had his daughter just over a week ago. I have decided to forgive him and make our realtionship work but it has deffinitly been the biggest challenge of my life. The worst part is she has decided she loves him and will not let him see his daughter if she finds out he is still w/ me at all. I know we have to eventually take this to court and fight her there but what if anything can we do till then so he can have a realtionship w/ his daughter but still be w/ me? I dont like feeling like I have to be his dirty little secret when we have been together so long. Its like she has a power over my life now and im not ok w/ it. The girl is only 20 and my fience is 30. Yes bad situation i know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionO how I wish i had listened to some/all of you better. I tried to make it work with the asshole even though everyone said run fast and far...and everyone was right. I was drug through the ringer and came out broken and so hurt. He did exactly what everyone here and otherwise told me he would do and tried to play happy family to both of us. Its been 2 years now and I still hurt over this. I know I will heal, and the amazing man in my life now has helped so much. I pray any girl going through this will do the hardest thing ever and walk, no run away from any man willing to do this to you. Please for God sake dont think it will change or get better. The sooner you know that the sooner you can began to heal. Best of luck, tks again to all for you advice
A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (14 January 2011):
 You might love him unconditionally, but he most definitely does NOT!! Wake up hun. You have no kids with him, just 8 years, no marriage, nothing binding you forever. You have to be strong and walk away this time. This was the ultimate betrayal. He lusted after another woman, emotionally connected with her and then had physical intimacy with her. How is that love? Surround yourself with family and friends and heal from this. You're wounded and confused. Spare long term suffering, by leaving him. If you're such a good person, I'm sure there already are guys just dying to date you. You will find something better than what you have.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm so lost. Im not making it cous Im so strong, its because Im too weak to let go. I love him so unconditionally, and Im learning there has to be conditions when it comes to love. I grew up thinking just loving someone was enough...but reality paints a much uglier picture. I cant let him go, I have tried...god I have tried so hard...but i always let him come back home. I thought love conquires all...I guess Im wrong there too. I have been through so much w/ him, both good and bad...I cant just let 8 years go to waiste...but my fear is Ill keep trying so long and hard he will finally break me, I feel so close to broken already. I hate feeling this way, Im known by all as the most happy and positive person they know...I dont wana become that girl...lost...alone...broken
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 January 2011):
Yes, as a father, he has rights. Laws vary by state, but he definitely needs to go to court if he wants to have a relationship with his daughter and she won't let him see her.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (13 January 2011):
Whats worse is that you've stayed with him! What a mess! How can you ever trust him? You must have so much strength to deal with this :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Hi yes you are right that she cannot stop him seeing his daughter. But if I were you then I'd save myself a lot of heart ache and dump him. This girls just had his baby, he's going to have to have some kind of contact with her for the next 18 or so years whether you like it or not. Find a boyfriend who deserves you and wont cheat, who will have his first child with you, not your bestfriend. Whats to say he won't end up playing happy families with her and their baby in the end anyway.
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