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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend cheated on me in switzerland when he was away on a sports trip, it was with the physiotherapist! i had just left hospital and was sick at home when he went away. when he came bak he went all weird and broke up with me but then i found out i was pregnant and we got bak 2getha. that was when i found out he was cheating - i thought i was miscarrying and he was texting so i read his mobile and found out! i stayed because i love him and my baby, but he really wanted me 2 have an abortion and he got depressed so i did about 3 weeks ago. now i feel just so upset and cant stop crying. i cant stop thinking about him cheating on me, he says im getting annoying but ive got really clingy and went crazy when i found out he had invited a girl friend round his. i dont know what 2 do, i just want support but he says i need to be 'careful' not 2 get 2 annoying. i dont know what 2 do. i just cant trust him n now he says my sex drive is 2 much 4 him 2 handle and that i need to stop bugging him for it. weve been 2getha 4 about 2 years and we have sex around 4 times a week. i dont know what 2 do. am i wrong 2 keep letting his cheating hurting me? is he treating me normally?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): I'm a bit confused after reading cd206. Have you had the abortion or not? If you had it just to please him then that was for the wrong reason. It is you who should decide that one. Sorry if i have read this wrong. Abortions leave people traumatised at the best of times but you have had so much to go through! When you discovered that he was cheating on you then that was the time to kick him out of your life for good. Him telling you to stop get 'annoying' ER, i think you have every right to be bloody well very annoying. Just get rid of this jerk and get your life back on track. He cannot care for you if he got so depressed at the thought of you two having a baby. No! He isn't for you so move on. If you do feel so low then go back to your doctors and have a word with him. You could be suffering from depression which needs treating now. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Keep in touch.
Best Wishes.
A
female
reader, heartxbrokenxgurl  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 so u dont have the baby becuz he didnt want it well if he loved u he would want to have a kid with u n stay with u forever but the fact he cheated on u may be he is still datin her n thats y he didnt want the baby
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A
male
reader, Big boy +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Hello, there’s only one thing you can do, leave him just stay away from him I know this is not what you want to hear but it’s all you can do, it would hurt and eat you in side you love him care for him but you just have to let go, if you two are meant to be you would be together may be years or months whatever it is don’t go waiting for him tho, move on with your life, this is probably one of the hardest thing you would have to do in life. Just try and avoid been around him or places that would bring back memories. It would take you time to get him out of your head because you love him dearly. Just let him be and start looking after your self, take some time and reflect back at your self. Pull your self back together; you would get some one that would love you and respect the way you deserve to be treated that would make you his queen. Look may be you and him where not meant to be, and this is just clearing the way for your Mr right. (Look am not saying that this would be easy just take your time and try and be strong, you know start the gym or just start doing something that would get your mind off him). Let them be, I got friends like that and I know what they are like, leave him alone don’t waste your time crying over him. Memorise would always hurt. And all you want is just for him to be back in your arms and things back to normal, you can’t change was going on. All you can do is just be strong for your self. The right man would come into your life, am not saying to jump into another relationship just take your time and relax to you self. Until you feel your ready to love again. You would be fine, all it take’s is time ok.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (14 January 2007):
No, your situation and relationship do not sound normal. It sounds like you have many problems to overcome. You are hurt that he has cheated on you, you feel insecure to leave him so you stay in a relationship without facing the problems it has, you feel guilty and upset about having had an abortion, and you have an unhealthy emotionaly dynamic in your relationship. Neither of you are happy about the situation, and your boyfriend is not supportive at all, either because he is no good for you, or because he does not know how to care for you properly.
The good news is, you can make it better. The best way to do this, and possibly the only way for someone with your issues, is to go to councelling. If you do this, a councellor will take you through a process, where you will face and solve all of the questions, problems, and issues that are worrying you. You will come out the other side much happier and more developed and mature as a person. If money is an issue you may be able to receive councelling for free, seek out some advice on this to find out the possibilities in your area.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 If you weren't pregnant I'd tell you to dump this loser but I understand that you feel you should stay with him because of your baby. The thing is though even though in your situation I would probably stay with him for the sake of my baby I've wondered lately if this is the right thing to do. You want your baby to grow up in a happy home, not surrounded by distrust and aggro from the moment it is born. It has to be your decision but I think you owe it to yourself and your baby to make the break from this guy.
CD
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