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age
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writes: Hi, I wrote earlier about playing mind games with my boyfriend who cheated on me. Two nights ago, he confronted me why I don't hug him anymore nor kiss him. I said to him I am losing interest for a fact that while he is with me, he may be thinking of this other girl too. He said it's not true and that he exchange texts with her only for two nights.I said to him he doesn't repect me at all for doing this. Then I got all my anger out that I have been keeping inside me. He asked me for forgiveness and asked what he can do to make up with me. I said he knows what he should do, I need action more than words.Then last night he texted me and accused me that I am seeing another guy. Of course its not true. I replied to him and he replied with one liners saying..where did you go, what did you do? I got pissed off, seems like he is playing with my feelings. After he learned I was at home, he started taking my replies very lightly and his answers had smileys in them.Just now I checked on friendster that he deleted the other girl in his account. Yet I am confused. Is this a part of the action I was asking him with regards to his cheating? How do I know if he really is sorry. He is very confusing. He doesn't want to lose me but I am not sure he wants to let go of the other girl though today he deleted her. I am not fully convinced. How will I know if I am the one he chose? I promised myself and even told him, once I find out he still sees this girl..then its really over for the two of us. But does he really love me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Good for you! Im really pleased you`ve gotten over him so quick.some people would take ages to recover but at least you have your friends and family here to support you.good luck in the futurexxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL the last answer is a bit too late.
As I have mentioned in my last reply:
"Now its been two months..I can't believe I had recovered very fast! Talking to my family, getting & giving advises on this website helped me lot."
I can go about my activities now without feeling sad or empty. The break up feels like its a long time ago that it happened. Something of the past. I am not depressed anymore.
I admit I still think of him but when I do, I don't feel the bitterness anymore. I even laugh at times LOL. I'ts kinda natural i guess.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Aha! well, the date of your entries prove your point. the cheating issue has been resolved and the relationship has ended already. shouldn't you be changing the question now? lol to something like "we're done, but i am still not over him (read as: not done grieving yet), how do i get this fast out of my system". i have an answer to that: you do have two options. first, treat it like it's a virus. stay in bed (with tissues and all), eyes swollen, act the part, eat ice cream every now and then (in rebellion), tell your friends...then one day, you'll realize the "sickness" is gone (estimate: two months). second option: work your ass off, get busy, busy, busy, there are other things to worry about aside from heartbreak, travel a lot, the works...(estimate: this takes two years LOL). it's up to you to choose.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the additional advise!
I remember in one of our arguments weeks before our final break up, he told me that if cheating means he slept with this other girl. Then he never cheated on me at all. He said he is not an animal to do that. He said he saw this girl so rarely and last time of seeing her was Nov. All contacts were made thru texting in which the girl initiates the contact most of the time. Which I can say is true as the texts comes in series and he replies to them once. He admitted it was his fault that he loved this attention. He said he is stupid. And he is angry at himself for hurting me like this and he will do anything to make it up to me.
He did change actually, he was a lot lot better than he ever was. The texting stopped and he let the phone sit beside me. But it was my paranoia and stubbornness that the fights always started with me. And that exhausted us both. On our last fight, I talked to him about this final break up and resulted to hurtful words thrown at each other.
Such a long explanation LOL!! Now its been two months..I can't believe I had recovered very fast! Talking to my family, getting & giving advises on this website helped me lot.
Thanks again, guys!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Some women choose to forget one instance of lying or cheating. Others don't. Well, I, for one, am not really sure. If we're talking about a husband who confessed to cheating then maybe a second chance is okay. But with a boyfriend, it's a compelling reason to give up the relationship. (With marriage, hubby may deserve a second chance to save your marriage, and then that's it). Let's admit it, any relationship has the potential to lead to marriage...so why waste time with this guy? If he does not love you enough then give him up. remember what you said about it being a "lose-lose" situation. Cheating is the icing on that cake. Now you have the mother lode of all reasons--he cheated, give him up. Move on. There are other guys more worthy of your love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys, please I need your help on this.
As I broke up with him 3 days ago, I realized there are some stuff at home which belongs to him. Particularly this luggage trolley he lent me just the night before we broke up for good. Coz I am going for a 1 month vacation to my home country in 3 days time, he doesnt want me to buy a new luggage and said he wont speak to me ever again if I refuse to borrow his bag. But he loves this bag so much as he travels too, this is the only one he uses for travel.
My question is, how do I return this to him without contacting him at all? But I dont even want to answer his calls or texts. Should I ship it to him with the other stuff? This is really crazy. Although its also ok that he drops by at home to pick this up but I am sure he will find this as an excuse to talk to me more than just getting his bag. As I still have feelings for him, i admit. I am scared I might get carried away again. And it will ruin all my plan in moving on with my life.
Why didnt he ask this back when we broke up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOnce again, I thank you guys for your advises.
However, I have thought about this matter very carefully since last week and decided I should use my head with it. Not my heart. Whatever happens, my relationship with him will never be the same again after he cheated on me. Whatever I do, I can never be at peace to have him around. It will all be a waste of time.
Aside from that, I listed down the reasons why I should leave & why I shouldn't. Really, its a lose-lose situation with regards to religion, culture, location and even physical appearance if I have to count it. He's not worth it. I realize I am better of without him as I realized I don't love him that much to stick around.
To cut the story short, I talked to him yesterday and called it quits. Now I feel better. I know at some point I will miss him but it's now or never. His reaction wasn't even good, he became very rude to me saying I just went back to him to manipulate his feelings. Its finally over.
I have read a lot of stories of people who walked out on a situtaion like this and they inspired me. Hope I will find a better person to love next time. It was a great lesson learned. Thanks again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): I suggest you sit down and talk to him.He has taken action on this and deleted the other girl however I think he needs more action done to show he truly loves you and wants you.Just because he has deleted her on this site doesnt mean he doesnt text or phone her.If u do decide to get back together then I think you really need to decide whether you want to be with him as u are kinda giving him mixed signals. Hes going to get paranoid as you arent giving him attention and hes probably thinking your giving someone else attention and dont love him anymore.Just sit down and talk and decide what you want to do about it.
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reader, Love4Life  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 I would if she doesn't know. Just try to remember she might not take it well. I mean you and her both put your trust in this man and he has violated that trust. She has every right to make her own decision but at least you gave her a heads up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! I really appreciate your replies. As I am involved in this relationship, its true they say you cannot make a wise judgement because you have your feelings involved.
Whether its true or not that once a cheater is always a cheater. The point here is he ruined my trust. What happened has happened and every now and then I will wonder if he had been out seeing this other girl.
I got this girl's number. And my bf confessed to me before that this girl doesnt know about me too. In short, he is also cheating on her. Do you think I should call the girl and inform her about me and my boyfriend? I beleive this girl is also innocent and I dont hate her. I was only smart enough to find out about them while she believed his fidelity. I need your advise on this too. Please!!!
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reader, Love4Life +, writes (22 April 2009):
I'm a firm believer in once a cheater always a cheater. My first girlfriend and I were dating for 8 months when I caught her cheating on me. I was naive but still confronted her. She told me she was sorry cried real tears and even begged me not to leave her. She said it was cause she was lonely and I was out of town. I finally forgave her. about six months later she got pregnant and I was so excited because I so wanted a child. I took her to all her check ups and considered me the luckiest man alive. Until I found a note in her drawer one night when I was folding her undies and socks. I don't normally snoop but the letter was partially opened and I read the words "does dick fuck know that the kids not his. I then opened and continued to read that she had been seeing this other guy the whole time we were together. I got paternity done only to find that the baby wasn't mine. I truly believe that a cheater once forgiven will only find a better way to hide it from you. Besides I will never trust a girl again that cheated on me. Without trust a relationship has no corner stone.
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reader, wonderingallthetime +, writes (22 April 2009):
How will you know you are the one he chose? Well of course one can only guess and many times we have reasons to feel sure we are right in these guesses we make. As sad as it may sound we really never have anyway of knowing for sure. But, if one is lucky enough to have some reason or reasons to feel like thier mate has stopped being dishonest along with a good amount of time free of anything suspicious you can build a bridge from that guess or feeling that they have stopped seeing someone, to being 99% of knowing , which I would think most could accept. How you build that bridge is simply by trust and trust alone. But I think placing your trust is only safe when you feel sure, even though you dont know for sure as far as building that bridge that can lead to what you want and have.
So , how will you know he chose YOU? You said you were still not convinced he deleated her? Well, in my experience and countless numbers of people saying that if you have that gut feeling about something you can almost everytime count on it being right or at least somewhat right. So, when you feel convinced he has deleated them is when you can build your bridge and have the 99% chance that I think many of us wish we could have . Its close enough to 100. Just hang on a while and maybe soon you will look up and realize a good period of time has passed and no reasons to be suspicious. I hope that happens to you. If it does not then I think it would be a 99% chance you would be happy with someone else. Just make sure you dont have any reasons to be suspicous of the next one. I hope what I wrote made sense and helped some.
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