A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Need some advice!!! My fiance have been together for almost 10 yrs now,he cheated on me with a lady from a local bar right b4 we were to get married 3yrs ago! I have tried to work past that but he still talks with the woman and just recently I found out he went to her daughters high school graduation and then stated he still talks with her daughter! Now he hasn't been to any of his close friends kids graduation.He thinks I am blowing this out of porportion but it hurts! And when I ask anything about it he gets Mad and refuses to talk about it! Am I wrong to get upset to me it is VERY DISRESPECTFUL!!
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female
reader, loveexpert23 +, writes (29 May 2010):
You know what? I think you should call it of . Because obvisouly he dosent care about your feelings enough. And honey you're not blowing it out of proportion you're just worried as heck about you're (fiance).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Dear Wondering!
How do you reply to something like that! or even give any advice. so what iam going to say is just this! we all at one point in our lives and some still... have trust issues w/ our partners, but there is a difference between not trusting period. or ones partner giving the other one no reason to trust, and once that happens it is a hard thing to get back. i know my partner and i have the up most respect for one another! but not saying my life! was perfect? in the past. but you see thats just it i found a wonderful man and i know that i must of had the same morals and values bestilled in me as he does because it just all feel into place so there was'nt anything wrong w/ me. and sometimes it takes a good man or a good woman to bring out the good in a person!!! so don't sale your'self short. if you know in your gut it aint right it's because it is'nt. so next time he says shes his friend i would say no... shes you're ex-fling. love can be blind and sometimes we don't want to see the truth so we just deal w/ it but you need to know you're worth more then that and you will not be anyones doormatt!!! your gain his loss.
Best Wishes!!
Oregongrl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Im just wondering why you stayed with him in the first place. If hes behaving like this and you arent even married yet, it doesnt bode well for the future. It sounds to me that he doesnt really care about your feelings and hes takes you for granted. I think you have some big issues with him and shouldnt get married to him. You will just be miserable x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): What I think is, sometimes people honestly make mistakes. I have a friend and we've done stuff sexually but remainded friends with benifits i gusse you could say while i had a boyfriend. I stopped after a few times of that but remainded friends with the guy and hung out with him. Secretiv because I still tended to cheat on my boyfriend.
You understand the problem i had there? I was secretive. And thats the only thing that should signal flags. Tell him to be streight up honest if there just friends you cant tell him not to you just gatta trust him.
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A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I can only really echo the words of TimmD, this man does not respect you, and if he valued you and valued this relationship he would be willing to cut this other woman out of his life in a heartbeat.
It is time for you to make clear to him that things have to change, or you need to leave and find someone who loves and respects you as they should. he is showing no remorse or regret for his cheating, and seems to think its ok to continually rub it into your face. you deserve better, good luck xxx
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (27 May 2010):
 You hit the nail on the head when you said it is very disrespectful because it is. To cheat and to knowingly keep her as a part of his life is pretty much a slap in the face to you. And when he makes you out to be the bad guy whenever you bring this up, like you're making a bigger deal out of it than you should..... well THAT is the tell tail sign that he doesn't respect you and it is time to rethink whether or not you should marry him.
If you are just "finding out" about all of this stuff as opposed to him just telling you... than he is keeping secrets from you. This is not a good foundation for a solid, long lasting relationship.
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A
male
reader, Felix Francis  +, writes (27 May 2010):
Dear forget him this is the time 10 yrs over still there is no balance, you are cheating yourself and him, open and close the topic with him once for all.Life has many other suprises for your, enjoy itfelix
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A
female
reader, iiSparkle +, writes (27 May 2010):
 Well i know that you must be angry seeing as its your man, not anyones elses. If he tries to denie it or to say that your going crazy well then he has something to hide. If a guy did go to this womans daughters graduation, he wouldve told you that directly. But it seems to me like hes hiding something, because he did cheat on you with this woman what makes it different this time?
He may still like her, but thats a possibilty, try and make him understand from your viewpoint.
What if you went to a mans daughters graduation and cheated on him with this same exac person he would be devastated and upset and he would want answers. So next time he does anything let him know that your serious about this and why doesnt he just tell the truth. And yeah i do agree it is really disrespectful. If he was telling the truth then he would tell you, but if hes refusing then theres something that hes hiding. Try to look him in the ye next time he does anything and see how he reacts, you can genereally tell if a persons lying by looking at facial expressions and body language.
Hope this helps
Best of Luck :)
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I always hate to admit such things, but I think it's time to cut and run. If he is so into this other woman -- fine. Let him be with her and you find yourself somebody that respects you and your values.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 May 2010):
I don't think you're even going to get to the wedding, and the more you stay with this man the more you're going to get hurt and waste time. It's all to clear to me that he doesn't care about you or your feelings at all. You can do so much better. You'e wasting your time with a man who just doesn't care.
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