A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have tossed and turned everynight now for about a month over the same problem. So hopefully someone out there will be able to give the right and honest advice to help me thru it.. Okayy.. Its been about 6 months since me and my ex broke up.. We dated for about 2 years.. When we first started dating I was head over hills.. everything was perfect and he knew about situations in my past relationship and me gettin hurt and he said he would never hurt me like that.. and then he went on vaction only to cheat on me with his ex... which he claimed to have been "drunk".. but Deep down I secretly new this.. Call it women's intution, but i had a gut feeling he did... Except everytime id ask him he would say OMG no i didnt.. pretty much makin me feel stupid for asking.. Not only did he cheat on me but he would also act shady about things.. like for intense i know this is psycho but one day I called him numerous of times because i needed to know something important.. And he didnt answer any of my phone calls.. well me privously being hurt in my previous relationship was paranoid and went by his house and his car wasnt there.. When he finally answered my calls he said I was sleeping.. WHICH was obviously bS.. And then when i confronted him about it he said ookay i was playing video games at my friends and i didnt want you to get mad.. blah blah blah... and theres been other shady times as well... I loved him with every piece of my heart.. but i knew deep down he cheated on me.. and eventually after gathering enough info to accuse him, I did and he ended up telling me.. SO we broke up.. And now recently he wants to get back with me saying Ive matured, I wont ever hurtt you again, Ive learned from my mistakes, and this and that.. saying to give him one more chance.. i dont know what to do!? im so confused..Hes been sending me sweet emails and this and that.. but Should i move on? or Go back to him..?
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broke up, cheated on me, his ex, move on, my ex, video games Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 If you cannot make the decision, tell him that you require about 3 to 6 months to make up your mind.
Keep your communications to the minimum . Don't encourage him but in fact try to pour cold water on his efforts.
Just observe how he reacts .
We want to see if he is really regretful and full of repentance.
Time will tell.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (3 March 2010):
This had me LOL, not because of your pain but because of his excuses. Are you sure he isnt my X?! When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. Talk is cheap. But unfortunately in these type of situations, you will only see it for yourself because he is going to convince you (as my x did) that you must not listen to other people's advice because they don't know him like you do. I remember the "OMG how could you think I would do such a thing" comments and declarations of dying love. I saw the dramatic rolling on the ground, fake heart attacks, crying, pleading and threatening suicide. But it would only change for a short while then months later it was back to cheating. I know its harder if your partner other than his cheating is fantastic like mine was. Funny, adventurous, romantic, caring; but still a cheat who won't think twice before he puts himself first; you will come second everytime. But you have to figure this one out for yourself because we will all tell you to leave him but perhaps you need another disappointment (or several more) from him first before you realise you deserve better.
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A
male
reader, df30 +, writes (3 March 2010):
Don't fall for it, so many guys I know do that crap and so many good girls fall for it over and over. Save yourself their are many of us who actually have morals and want to be trusted that there is no reason to stay with that guy. Lots a dudes out there don't settle for a bad one.
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A
female
reader, DMJ2890 +, writes (2 March 2010):
almost every relationship i have been in i have been cheated on so i know how it feels and im sorry it happened to you, no one deserves it. but i have also been dumb enough to go out with each of them many times after they cheated on me because they said that they changed and everything. What i have learned is that people that cheat will always cheat, they dont have morals and they dont really feel bad about it. People that cheat and tell you straight out right away have morals and might actually be remorseful but people that are sneaky and keep it from you and cheat, they will never change. it is hard to believe that they wont ever change but its the truth. I dont want you to go through what i went through and be hurt over and over again by the same person. You've been through being cheated on and breaking up once...dont make yourself go through it again, rise above it and find someone worth your time who will treat you like a queen.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 March 2010):
Why settle for a guy who cheated on you and is now just telling you what you want to hear, when you can find a man who wont' cheat and will actually love you. You're still young. Find a better guy and leave this one in the past. Sending you sweet emails doesn't make up for the fact he cheated with his ex.
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A
female
reader, Mel70 +, writes (2 March 2010):
That's a tough one. What do you want? I think you love him and want to be with him still since you are asking the question. I would give him another chance and observe him. See how he acts. If he hasn't changed, then his true colors will come out. And if that happens, then you have to leave. I am saying this because I believe in second chances and I believe in love. I was once the one who cheated after about a month. It was a kiss and pretty harmless given the amount of time we had dated. But it didn't hurt any less for my boyfriend. He took me back and I wouldn't dream of cheating on him again. We have a lot of problems, but cheating isn't one of them. Give him a chance but try to protect your heart. He shouldn't have cheated on you and he shouldn't have lied, but when I lied it was because I was devastated and upset with myself, and because after that night I knew it was my boyfriend I wanted to be with. I was terrified he would leave if he knew the truth. Regarding the lie about the video games, why does he feel he has to lie. Have you had disagreements about it in the past? I would wonder what was really going on. I'm sure you've had discussions with him about these things; it's so important to get to the real heart of the matter. I hope everything works out. But if he does it again, I think you need to walk away.
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