A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello there,I wanted to ask help to solve this problem that i have.4 years ago im working in a department store when i met this guy. At our first meeting he ask for my number. And because of my co-workers that are teasing me i don't have any choice but to gave my number. So we texted each other for i think a week. Suddenly he invited me to his place. Im kinda hesitant that time because i don't know how to deal with him or afraid of what will happen. But i realize there's nothing to worry im grown up (im 19 yrs old then). So i went to his place i texted him if i can bring my gay friend(just to be safe) he said no just me. Ok no prob i said. That was the second time i met him and we had sex.Before i left his place he told me that im his girl now. I said yes because i wanna get out of there asap. So after that i feel dirty and being used. He texted me but i didn't reply. I cant believe that i did that. Because i think doing that without any emotions involve is a sin. Im ashamed of my self as well as for family, but of course they don't know it.so to make the long story short. Until now his still sending me emails and chatting me every time he knows im online. I told him to stop for how many times but he dont want too. He told me things like why did i run away from him(and i told him the reason) that i've enjoy having sex with him,that he care for me and we could have been engage.I keep on telling him that we need to respect each other. That i don't want the deal that his giving me that he want me to be his gf as long as need to take care all of his needs (including sex).Actually what i wanted to hear from him is to treat me like a lady. Like will get to know each other, go on a date, movies etc. Not just about sex.Im just confuse because his been after me for 4 years now. I told him that "just accept the fact that your crazy for me because you cant move on" he replied "your crazy for me too"Thank you for reading. I really need some advice. Thank you guys.
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co-worker, move on, one night stand, teasing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 When you wrote "And because of my co-workers that are teasing me i don't have any choice but to gave my number." in your post it bothered me because you DID have a choice. Yes, you were pressured to give him your number but in the end the choice was yours.
My advice is to stand up for yourself. Stop letting people influence your choices. Stop being so ashamed of yourself; people make mistakes. And STOP being in contact with this man. He is NOT going to treat you like lady and he WILL continue to play mind-games with you. You do not belong to him or anybody else for that matter. Cut him out of your life. Ignore, block, and report him if you have to. Make sure you tell him to leave you alone before you ignore him and only tell him once. Keep copies of what he says after you tell him to leave you alone in case you need to show them to the police.
Take care and if you need to talk feel free to send me a message.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 The problem is not hard to fix. You don't want to be his girlfriend, and you don't really know him. You had casual sex with him on two occasions, but didn't like it, and don't want to do it again. He is not a friend of yours, and you are not under obligation to maintain contact with him.
Delete his phone number. Change your own phone number to prevent him from calling you. Block his e-mail. Block any internet connections from him. Then he can not contact you whenever you are online.
Stop responding to him! If he sends you messages, online or on the phone, DO NOT RESPOND. Simple as that. As long as you keep up the contact he will keep up the contact as well.
This is not a man you want. If he was interested in asking you out on a date and get to know you he would have done that by now. He hasn't, and he wont. Cut the contact and move on.
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