A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm going to try not to make this too long but I met this boy from online, his name is Jordan, and I think he's really great. He's perfect apart from the fact that he has a girlfriend (They became official 3 days before I met him in person). I really like him and I want him to be with me. His girlfriend lives an hour and a half away and although he never talks badly about her she genuinely doesn't sound like a very nice person. She takes ages to text him back and ignores him eventhough he can tell she is on her phone because she is talking to other people on snapchat etc. She was posting racy pictures on social media despite being 17, she seems very immature(Jordan is 20) he had a problem with is and told her but she made out as though he was in the wrong but he can't even 'like' a girl's picture on instagram without her getting mad. She is really obnoxious on social media and honestly is not very attractive (I know thats not really important but still) I don't like her at all, yes I am jealous because she has Jordan but despite that she doesn't seem very good for him. He has low confidence, depression, self harmed the last thing he needs is someone like her in his life. If he was happy with her then he wouldn't be looking at me in this way? Honestly if she seemed like a nice girl then I wouldn't be asking this and would feel bad.Anyways, me and Jordan just talked as friends and we hung out 4 days straight after we first met. Since then we have been seeing each other every few days. We hug when we say good bye and I sit on his lap when we watch TV etc but nothing more. We know we like each other but he has never done anything because he has a girlfriend. He has said that he likes me more every time we hang out and that he doesn't want to like me more (because he has a girlfriend) and that when we are together he wants to kiss me. Then last night (7th time we had met) we were watching TV and his girlfriend called and he was talking to her for 30 minutes on the phone and he apologized when he finished and I said something like:-"its ok she's your #1, you like her more than me I understand"- "no #2, you're #1" - "that's not true"- "I'm here with you now aren't I?"- "If she was here you would pick her though"- "no, when have I ever picked her over you?"- "but shes your girlfriend so she's higher than me"- "are you saying that if I broke up with her right now you would be with me?"- "yeah, go on do it right now haha" (half joking/ half not joking)- "I'm not going to break up with her over a text/phone call I'd do it in person"Then a while later we were sat close and he was whispering "kiss me" and I was saying stuff like "no, its wrong you have a girlfriend etc" I can't remember exactly what he said but he was like "You don't like her anyways" Then we ended up kissing (just a short kiss) he was saying "kiss me" again and I said it's wrong but he said "you've already done it now" it happened 3 short times.I haven't seen him since then but we have been texting and as usual and I asked him if he had told his girlfriend what happened and he said no he doesn't want her to leave him. He's not going to break up with her if she's done nothing wrong and that he still likes her and can't let go of that. What he said about the way he felt about me is true but that he shouldn't have said that to me and that kissing me was a mistake.What can I say/do to make him realize that he's obviously not happy with her if he felt the need to do that and that he would be happier with me. I live closer, am much more attractive (I know thats not important but still, and Jordan has even said I am better looking than she is) and would treat him better than she does. I don't want to sound arrogant but I honestly think it is true.
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broke up, confidence, has a girlfriend, immature, jealous, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 April 2015):
 All I'll say is, stop fooling yourself. Jordan has no intentions of leaving his her and whatever he's told you about her is a completely one-sided view, to make you dislike her, so that he can keep playing you by getting sympathy from you AND be with her, his real girlfriend, the one he *chooses* to be with.
OP if a guy likes you then he will do anything...and I mean ANYTHING to be with you. All the rules go out of the window and he will go out of his way to woo you and be with you.
Assuming Jordan's girlfriend is really as bad as he says, then why isn't he breaking up with her? You know the answer, right?
Because he doesn't want to.
Stop being played for a fool in this entire episode. He said that kissing you was a "mistake". That shows his feelings for you. Basically there are none, but he'll keep making these "mistakes" because well, it suits him to have a girlfriend at home and an adoring "friend" (you) on the side, who dotes on him. If you don't extract yourself from this situation immediately, you'll be the one getting hurt. Not Jordan. Not his girlfriend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2015): Sounds like this Jordon has a real problem with real romance. He is mostly an on line friend, which is not the same as a relationship. Why would you want to be with someone like that. Find someone who wants a relationship in real life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 April 2015):
 He is playing the BOTH of you.
You think you somehow is "better than her", and thus should "have" this "prize called Jordan"... Even-though.. he CLEARLY isn't a prize.
Let's say he does dump her for you. How long do you think it will take before he finds some other chick who will be his "#1" ?
You are fooling yourself into thinking it's a competition and he is the grand prize. The dude is not a great guy. A GREAT guy would NOT jerk two girls around.
Though I doubt you will take the advice, my advice is to end it. IF he is ACTUALLY serious he will break up with her.
My guess is, he won't he is quite happy having two girls fight over him.
And you ARE arrogant. You don't know this girl and all you care about what YOU want. Sorry I'm not trying to be mean, but you you need to take those rose tinted glasses off.
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