A
female
age
41-50,
*ongirl1
writes: I started dating a gentleman 17 years older then me. He seems to not be able to get hard. He has tried a number of medications to help and they do not. We have sex and it is really good sex, but he gets so upset because he can not "take care of me" like he wants. So what do we do any suggestions??? Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 December 2010):
Agreed with the previous poster!! They are so many alternatives to simple penetration! If he is very concerned, they he can focus on his tongue (which is scientifically PROVED to fix this issue) and his hands and provide you with more manual stimulation.
Be sure you are feeling comfortable enough to open up to him and tell him what feels good! It is difficult, but well worth it! I assure you that speaking up about what feels good is not as awkward as it sounds and works out in the long run! ;o)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): It is quite possible his issue is psychological more than physical. Unless he is out of shape and overwieght, Id say he has some past sexual issues going on. Nothing wrong with at all. He just needs to diagnose the issue and get it fixed if he desires. Counseling did me well and dig stuff out of me I didnt even know existed with issues with sex I had. Id highly recommend he try that. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 December 2010):
If this *is* truly all about his being upset by not taking care of you, he should know that his penis is not the end-all be-all of sex for you! He could make you scream with his hands, tongue, toys, anything! Not to mention - he could really make love to you and connect emotionally with you. A man's greatest tool in his love arsenal is his words. If he's telling you he loves you and calling you the most beautiful woman in the world, he's won half the battle.
Many guys who can get hard on a regular basis can't satisfy their women with their penis. Seriously. He has a TON of tools at his disposal.
However, I'm thinking that he's wondering if he can take care of himself in sex. That's a good concern of course, as sex should be fun for both. He can easily take care of you over and over and over, but he needs a hard penis for his own needs. Can he get hard when he masturbates? Have you asked him that? Either way, he's gotta not give up on medical courses of action either. He could be taking medication that stifles sexual response too. Hopefully, you both will figure it out!
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