A
female
age
41-50,
*jasilver21
writes:I began seeing this guy on November 1st. We really hit it off. He wanted an exclusive relationship, he said the word "love" first, he went overboard at Christmas and Valentine's so on.... So then one night I told him how I felt. Nothing scarey like, "I think we're soul mates..." just my feelings. Things became really distant after that. I thought it was because he was busy with school and working out of town. He recently told me he stills loves me and doesn't want to loose me but he needs "time to think." He never calls but does send random text messages like "I miss you." I don't know what to think. I have prompted him to end things over and over but he won't end the relationship. I've said, "if you ever want out, let me know and don't lead me on..." I still care about him too much to end things but I hate not having closure.His actions really confuse me - is this relationship over? What should I do...back off 100%?
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christmas, soul mates, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kjasilver21 +, writes (28 March 2007):
kjasilver21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have thought about your responses a lot. They helped me clarify my thoughts. Thank you for your opinions on this!
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Sounds to me like he's too scared to maintain a relationship. In that case you're never going to be able to get something going with him anyway. Back off and give yourself a chance to find a guy who shows some maturity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): Sweety, when a relationship gets 'confusing' and you don't feel good about what's going on, chances are your instincts are kicking in and they are trying to tell you something. Who wants a bf who can't be honest, truthful about his thoughts and can be openly loving to you? No one can say what he is doing or why? All we know is-it is hurting you and I for one will say, if he's not calling you all the time, then take that as a huge red flag. Men who really like someone...always call. Put yourself out of this misery and just end it. Yes..you back off and you move on to someone who is emotionally available to commit and give you the affections and attentions you so richly deserve. I am sorry, but he doesn't deserve the angst and worry you are going through. Go forward and recover. And then when you areready, get out there and find someone who is just as into you as you are into them. In a healthy good, love relationship..there never, ever is any confusion.
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A
female
reader, Lady tinks  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 give him an ultimatum. If he wants to be with you he has to make more effort. if not its over. Don't waste your life on people who don't know what they want.
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