| A
female
,
*hilliepepper
writes: I have been seeing a guy for a little over a month. I have known hi for two years prior to dating as we are in our doctoral program together. Since our first date we have spent every day and night together except three. We text all day from work, we go to school together now, have dinner together, then go home for the night together. On the weekends we are together and we go out with friends together. Regardless I'm strating to feel a bit insecure about our relationship. He will not call me his girlfriend. He says he is my man and I am his woman and this is good enough. I'm completely confused as to what that means. I know that he likes me, he won't let me go home and half my stuff is now at his house. We have talked and agreed not to date others and he says we are a unit. To me this says we are a couple and therfor boyfriend and girlfriend. For some reason that title is important to me. Why is it that I get to be his "woman" but not his girlfriend? Is there a difference? I'm completely confused and subsequently now insecure. I'm not looking for a ultra serious relationship right nowas finishing school is my top priority but somevalidation as to my status and whereI stand would be wonderful. Help!
View related questions:
insecure, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): Thats a bit confusing then.
If you spend all your time together, and... he says you not his girlfriend just straight out like that, I don't understand that.
You should tell him you don't understand that either. Ask him what his reasons are. Its probably something about society and labels and blah blah. lolol.
But yeah, you should find out
A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 From your follow up and what you say, it does sound like your boyfriend does love you and is in love with you a lot!
When a guy puts a womans feelings before his own and is always thoughtful then he has a lot of respect and love for that woman.
Most guys dont do those sort of things for just anyone, well not repeated anyway.
He wants to make you happy in every sense of the word.
Your a lucky woman!
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 His woman or his g/f ? Do they mean the same thing ?
It could mean different things to different persons and subject to different interpretations.
I feel that his woman has a higher status than his g/f. His woman ,means that he has unofficially accepted her as his soul mate or unofficial wife while his g/f is still one step short and is just at the threshold of his abode.
To a man , 'his woman' means that you are complete to him while 'his g/f' means that there are still some loose ends to tie up.
It is like looking at a glass half full or a glass half empty. If you are an optimist, you would say it is half full and a pessimist would say half empty.
It is just a play with words and you should accept his perspective and do not be troubled by those words.
It is actions that speaks louder than words.
You can call it anything but a spade is still a spade.
Whether you are his woman ,his g/f , his love, his whatever name you want to call her is all the same and as valid as the day you were born.
Love is the most important of all. If you cannot feel his love, 'his woman or his g/f' will mean nothing to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, chilliepepper +, writes (7 March 2010):
chilliepepper is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is very attentive to me and takes wonderful care of me. He is thoughtful and considerate. I do not mind being called his woman and actually enjoy it. He will pull me in close to him and call me his woman or say that's my woman ect. Never has negative connotations to it. It is a possesive word and that I don't have a problem with. We are both very independant, aggressive ppl and are both professionals and self supportive. I am usually dominant in a relationship anden rely on me for support and guidance. Therefore, I enjoy being taken ppssesiom of a bit. Lovely change. It's wonderful to be with an equal who is like wise self supportive, independant and intelligent. We both do not "need" the other but want to be with the other. I'm confused to a mans definition of what it means to be their woman as opposed to their girlfriend. He had made it clear that I am not his girlfriend yet we are dating exclusively and spend all our free waking and sleeping moments together. Anyone with clarification on the terminology?
...............................
A
female
reader, ElectricSheep  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 "My girlfriend, lady, woman, girl," they all mean the same thing to me. I actually like "my woman" better than "girlfriend."
But if it bothers you, and you've talked to him about this, I wonder why he's so adamant on still calling you "his woman?"
I would think being called his woman shows more serious-relationshipness, but you say you're not looking for that at the moment.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): have you told him that the words he uses to describe you are important? Alot of times us guys just don't know and are clueless.
Like, I called my girl, "girl" three times in a conversation once, and she was like, "why are you calling me that. what happened to baby" Then I said my mind just wasn't in that place right then to call her that... hoo boy, was that the wrong thing to say
I had to proceed to talk her down from this massive blown out of proportion thing for hours.
Anyway, my point is us guys are oblivious to your needs and fears sometimes. You gotta communicate with him, chances are he will acquiesce to you request.
...............................
A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (7 March 2010):
It may just be his mannerism refering "his woman" to his girlfriend.
If hes putting you first then he probably does love you more than you think.
...............................
|
