A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My relationship with my fiance has recently come to an end, a big shock to me but not to him supposedly. He proposed at Christmas, wedding booked for next July. His initial reason for our break up was that he didn't know what he wanted, then it was that he didn't feel in control of his life. I noticed a change in his behaviour over Easter but i put it down to the fact that i had been so busy with my mum who was just starting cancer treatment that he maybe felt a little unwanted. It has now come to light that he is in a relationship with a girl he works with, he says he wasn't involved with her before our split but it would explain his behaviour change and his reluctance to talk ot try to work things out and the ease with which he walked away. Every day i think about him, every day i want him, i really love him with all my heart and I believed that he loved me too. I know these are normal feelings and everyone says it will pass. My question is how do I get on with my life?
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female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 you can start by pointing your attention on certain stuff that will make you feel great, you could travel for sometime and have a little reflection on yourself, remember that the first step of moving on is acceptance, accept the fact that he's gone, then everything else will follow, besides, it is actually better that way because at this early stage you discovered that he cant be serious to you, just learn to love yourself and try to love again.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 No break up is ever easy, especially when it's not you that initiates it. You'll go through a lot of emotions, loneliness, hate, anger, sadness, worthlessness to mention a few but this is all perfectly normal. Tell yourself it's for the best. Write down the things you liked about him and the things that annoyed you about him. You might actually be surprised when you look at what you've written.
Tell yourself it's not your fault that this has happened, you just weren't compatible. It's much better that he told you before you were married than started to cheat on you afterwards. Here's a link that you'll find really helpful - "How to Get Over a Breakup...
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
Read it through and let me know if it helps. You'll come out of all this a stronger person. Tell yourself it's HIS loss not yours then close the door on it.
Eve
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 June 2007):
 When you stop and really think about it it should not be that hard to move on with your life, the person you loved when you needed them most for support when your mother started cancer treatment probably started a relationship with another girl, you are so much better being out of a relationship where as soon as things are not running smoothly they jump ship.
Have a bit of you time now just get out there and try and enjoy yourself the best therapy i find is to surround yourself with friends and family, because believe me they will help these feelings pass.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 He's not worth your tears lovely.
If he's not going to treat what you had with respect, why give him respect at all?
He's not the one doll, I'm sorry.
Look in the mirror. What do you see? A beautiful lady is what you see and you can have anyone you wanted. You're worth more than just an excuse to get with someone else. You are you and you have everything. He's the one that missed out.
Visualise a box, put everything to do with him in this box and lock it shut. Throw away the key. NEVER to be reopened. You can do it sweetie, just believe in yourself.
xx
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