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female
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*emma
writes: my boyfriend of 2 years has recently told me he doesnt want a girlfriend any more. Im heartbroken nothing serious has happened he just said he wants to spend time with his mates. He says he is getting older and doesnt wants to do stuff and its not fair on me. We still speak on the phone and he is so nice to me and tells me he still wants to have sex with me its really messing with my head why doesnt he care any more and what should i do??
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 I agree with the other two answers, but will add my opinion too and make it unanimous.
DON'T consent to have sex with him. It degrades you to just a "thing", like a blow-up doll. Saying that he wants to do things with his mates, but still keep you around for sex shows that his thinking of you is totally selfish and superficial.
Lots of young women make the mistake of thinking that having sex with an ex will "bring him back" or "bring you closer". Phooey! It does nothing except prove that you have no self-esteem... and it will end in tears. Your tears.
My suggestion is that you accept that he values his time with his mates more than he values time with you, and move on. Enjoy the freedom of singledom for a while and when you're next in a relationship, don't leap straight into sex with someone.
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (16 November 2006):
You should be totally unavailable to him. Don't allow yourself to be downgraded from girlfriend to casual sex provider. And as he's made this suggestion I'd say don't consider getting back with him at all in future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): I've been where you are-my guy was just sick of being in a relationship and wanted to be single, but he still wanted me too so we ended up as sex buddies. Of course it was a bad idea, I still loved him but didn't tell him and then he went and got himself a new girlfriend and left me, and I was devistated. DO NOT have sex with him unless you're in a relationship together. I advise you tell him everything that's on your mind and then leave him alone. If he still wants you he'll have to be in a relationship with you, if not then move on.
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