A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need advice on what to do :( I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 months and I love him so much. He's adorable, caring and funny and everything I could want really although we argue quite abit. It used to be about doing stuff like sexual stuff and I didn't really want to so we used to argue about that but he did wait until I was ready and we've done pretty much everything apart from sex. But now he gets in really bad moods and flips out for no reason so I try to be there for him and he tells me he doesn't know what he wants but then always comes back saying sorry he yelled and that he loves me and he shouldn't take it out on me.But yesterday I rang him up before I went to bed and told him not to forget his fathers day present for his dad because he asked me to remind him but he was being really off with me. I didn't really get what was wrong so I asked and he said it didn't matter and then he was like I can't do this anymore so I asked if he had finished me and he said yeah so I just went because I started crying. I text him about half an hour later telling him to fetch his stuff and he said "alright" but rang me up as soon as he sent it and he said that he still loved me but he didn't want to keep doing this to me and that splitting up with me would hurt me less than if he stayed and always argued with me. So I said we wont argue I promise and he just said babe it's not your fault and then he went because he had to go out.I love him though and I can't understand why he doesn't get it. He was my first for everything and he thinks that I'll find someone else straight away but I feel lost without him. It actually hurts and I just don't know what to do anymore :'(Any advice? x
View related questions:
broke up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, twinlab99  +, writes (20 June 2010):
 sounds like you two are pretty young....I say let the break up be, learn, grow, and move on........I mean that sincerely....
A
female
reader, anaphaseii +, writes (20 June 2010):
The big issue right there is that he argued with you when you didn't want to do sexual stuff. That's a red flag -- you guys are so young and there should be no rush to get down to it if both parties aren't willing! He shouldn't have been pressuring you in anyway.
I'm really sorry - first breakups are awful. But... maybe he did you a favor. If he's taking out his anger on you or you guys are having pointless fights ALL the time because of his misplaced anger, maybe the best thing he could do to you and is let you go. Trust me - that's no way to have a meaningful relationship.
See, my boyfriend and I fight ALL the time. ALL the time. But it's not about one taking out their anger on the other. It's just the way we are. I won't say it's ideal, but it works for us because it's how we express ourselves and no one feels like a punching bag at the end of the day.
Give it some time. Heal. This will hurt a LOT, no matter how far from perfect the relationship was. But you have so much ahead of you! And if it's meant to be, it will be. I gotta hand it to this guy - he did a pretty selfless thing right here. There's hope for him (and you) yet!
...............................
|
