A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so i have a really complicated situation.. a month ago my boyfriend (18) broke up with me (16) because i got 'too close' to another guy who just happens to be one of my good friends. I tried to explain to him that nothing happened but he said he can never trust me again.For the first 2 weeks i tried everything to get him back but it didn't work, it only pushed him further away. He said he still loved me but that he can't trust me so he can't take me back. I'm so hurt by this because for the whole year we were together our relationship was perfect and I make one mistake and he's gone? He said he doesn't give second chances but that he still wants us to be friends. I am utterly heartbroken by this as I love him more then anything so I told him we couldn't be friends as I was always gonna want more. He got mad at this and I haven't talked to him since.It's been a week now since I last talked to him and I miss him more then anything. My friends say he's over reacting and that I should move on but it's too hard because he's my first love and I don't wanna move on. I thought it would be easier not talking to him but it only makes it worse. Do you think if i was to try being friends with him he might want me back eventually? Please help, i dunno what to do anymore. :-(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): I, as a girl who has only close guy friends, with a guy who has had multiple close friends who were girls, say he is over reacting. You become best friends with a guy and now you can't be with him? The two posters before me seem very closed minded to me. Once you're with someone you should never be close friends with someone of the opposite gender again? It is an honest, innocent relationship.
You made the best decision. "Just being friends" almost always ends up in arguments and heartbreak and a lot more hurt than necessary. Give him some space and work on moving on so he doesn't think you're pathetic. Crying for some guy after he tells you its over is a big turn off. They are much more attracted to girls who are quick to recover and get back to their own lives. It shows strength. I know it will be hard, but if that was honestly his reason to end a long relationship of 365 days with you maybe you're better off with someone who won't control who you can or cannot be friends with.
A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (25 August 2010):
 Don't blame your boyfriend for breaking up with you, he had every reason to. I know it doesn't seem fair on your part because the close friendship you have with the other guy is purely innocent! But just look at the situation from your boyfriend's point of view; How would you feel if he got really close to another girl?
He's obviously very hurt as the situation has forced him to break up with you, when he still loves you.
Give him space and stop trying to contact him! it'll give him chance to think things through and perhaps reconsider his decision.
He might decide to give it another go with you - in which case, you would have to reduce contact with this friend of yours. But I would strongly recommend doing this anyway!
On the other hand, he could decide that he doesn't want to go back into the relationship. As upsetting as this will be, you'll have to move on and let your boyfriend get on with his life.
Good luck! Hope it all works out xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): Your friends are just trying to please you. Being with a guy and then getting "to close" to another guy is a deal breaker for a man that has any thing about himself.
What would you have thought if he got "to close" to a girl he can get along with?
Sounds like he's making the better choice, and you won't make that mistake again in future relationships. You broke his trust, learn from it, and move on.
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