A
female
age
30-35,
*inamoon
writes:My boyfriend of two years decided a week before christmas break was over and he went back to school that he wanted a break because he feels we are too young to be tied down. He's in his second year of college and I get that he feels that he hasn't had a real college experience so though it hurt we went on a break. During this break he wouldn't stop texting me and he did things he wouldn't let me do when we were dating (like mali)...After a month on this break I just decided it was too painful to be with him because i can't get over the fact he didnt want to be with me back so i broke up with him. I told him he needed to give me time after the break up and that i couldn't be friends with him. I told him to not text me or contact me but he has ten times since then. He's finding stupid reasons to text me and it honestly hurts so much every time he does. I feel like i cant move on and im taking 3 steps back everytime. He told me he was still in love with me when we broke up and i still love him and was stupid enough to believe him when he said he wanted to be with me forever. I can't shake him and i need advice because I can't be okay with him still trying to be friends. its probably been a month and a half since christmas break.
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a break, broke up, christmas, move on, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tinamoon +, writes (25 February 2013):
tinamoon is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhonestly thank you all so much! you gave me hope that I can do this and just move on. He can't have the best of both worlds. I'll find someone who doesn't need to test his love for me or walk away from a good thing because were "too young" and find someone who just goes with the flow...it's sad but I won't be heartbroken forever. THANKS TO ALL WHO REPLIED!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2013):
 He's wrong. I see NO REASON to be friends with an ex.
I can see being friendly and civil especially if you have children together but this is not your case.
IN this case, he wants his freedom but he wants to feel like a good guy... "see we are still friends" I think that's insane.
block him. IF you want to warn him you are doing that, that's fine but like Sageoldguy said I don't think it necessary since you already told him you need him to leave you alone...
no phone
no email
NO SOCIAL MEDIA (and this is really very critical in this age of instant updates... block him... then he can't see you and keep tabs on you... and you wont' see what he's doing and hurt)
it's a hard step to take... but make it so.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 February 2013):
 You do NOT have to talk to him/with him because the two of you dated for any amount of time. The whole "be friends with your ex" is rarely beneficial for anyone.
Since you are trying to GET OVER him, the no contact is the way to go. If you DO run into him say hi and keep moving, don't stop and chat. Hr'll get the point.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 You leave him out of your life for as long as you need and want, and for all the time it takes for you to heal your broken heart and move on. After which, if you feel it's still worth your time being friends, you may want to reconnect, but , at that point, and possibly with some new guy on the scene, I doubt you'll be interested.
I understand that ,living in a small town, ignoring him may take some guts and self control, and there may be some awkward moments, but , at the end of the day, whether you live in a small village or in a big city, you always have to do what's best for YOURSELF.
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A
female
reader, tinamoon +, writes (24 February 2013):
tinamoon is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll this advice is great! He made it seem like it was wrong to cut ties after being togther for two years but i can't be friends so..I'm just afraid when he comes home from school (i'm a commuter at community college) he will try to rekindle. If you live in my town you see everyone and I know i'll see him out. Do I really just let him out of my life forever?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 February 2013):
Block him 100%, facebook, his number, and his texts (look up some free apps for this, many phone have them).
Then totally STOP talking to him. It is not helping you in any way shape or form to keep in contact.
If you can't block him number then just DO NOT answer his calls or even go get a new number.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 February 2013):
 Ditto what CindyCares wrote EXCEPT I would drop the "one last time" proviso. You've endured his emotional playing for 'way too long, already. Make the break, and make it stick. You'll find there really ARE some nice guys "out there".... so go find one....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (24 February 2013):
 i understand where you're coming from completely. for me, once i seperate from someone, i cannot speak to them, or see them, or have anything to do with them or i will never get over them. once i take an adequate amount of time and get over them, i can then re-introduce them back into my life as a friend, if i so choose. but that takes time. so i know how painful it must be to keep having to hear from him.
the only thing i can say to you is to just keep up with what you're doing. no matter how much it hurts, you're doing the right thing. he may keep texting you, but just stay strong. you've made the right decision. don't second-guess yourself. keep it together and only focus on moving forward. give it a month and reflect on this date, and see how you feel then in comparison to now. i'll bet you'll already start to feel drastically better. you'll be over him in no time. stay strong!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (24 February 2013):
No, you can shake him. Very simple. You told him already you can't be friends for now and you don't want to be contacted. You tell him ONE last time, and if still does not get it, you block him, phone, emails, FB, everything.
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